chris dalton, under the palapa

No running at 70, more like shuffling

And squatting is just a memory as the darkness edges closer

Two weeks ago I had my 70th birthday, which was lovely, if these things can be counted as lovely, since these celebrations heave us another step closer to the darkness.

Casey, a delicious female friend, said: “You will love your 70s, Chris,” which somehow helped. Might as well enjoy it, I mean there is not much I can do about it at this stage, is there? I still feel fairly good although I cannot squat anymore – it’s just a lean-down kind of thing now.

I still go for runs along the malecón, but to be honest it is more like a quick shuffle than an actual run. I tell my wife it lets me see what is going on around me rather than a blur, as in the past. She just shakes her head sadly.

Just before my birthday, I had what I thought was a great idea: I would sit down and make a list of all those I might have upset over the last 70 years. I would prove to them that I have matured and ask for their forgiveness.

It took longer than I thought, but luckily after a bit of research I found a good number had died, so that cut the list back a bit.

For some reason, none of the women took my calls and most of the guys just said, “Mmmmmm.” One old fellow said he did not remember me doing anything wrong to him, so I reminded him, upon which he called me “a horrible bastard” and hung up.

But the point of the exercise was that I would feel better and I did. That dreadful term “closure.”

One of my birthday presents was a pair of binoculars. I am not sure why the term should be a pair as you only get one, don’t you? The problem with English, eh?

Anyway, this gift has opened up a whole new world from our perch in the sky above El Centro, some of it surprising. For instance, before the binoculars I could just make out in the distance a pretty mother breastfeeding her child. I felt I was seeing the very essence of Mexican life.

With some magnification my beautiful scene became a middle-aged Mexican lady entertaining a small bald man on her lap. Shocked, I demurely looked elsewhere.

However, most of the time I see splendid things with my new binoculars, such as ships arriving and fishing boats returning with their catches. There is also an enormous yacht in our bay so I drip with envy as I watch the on-board activity.

It is I guess, the idle lower middle class looking at the idle rich. The life of our small city by the sea comes into focus every day and I am grateful for the gift.

On a sadder note, I am becoming more and more concerned with the dogs of our neighborhood. There seems to be an explosion of numbers, as every balcony and rooftop has a sad story to tell of chained or restricted dogs left outside with no shade, sitting in their own waste.

Day after day I watch these wailing animals bark away their existence without a sign of kindness from their so-called owners. It breaks my heart.

I know many readers will say that if I don’t like it I should go home because this is Mexico. That was the position we used to take, but now that we have bought here and pay taxes we feel we are a part of this neighborhood.

When I ask the locals why they do not complain about this open cruelty, they simply shrug and say they could never criticize a neighbor, however much they agree with us, because he or she would lose face.

I have called the authorities but nothing much happens. Once someone showed up and took a few pictures of the outside of the house but nothing more. Now I sometimes wish we did not have such a wonderful view of the city, now enhanced by my birthday gift, as we are witness to much more than just the beauty of the glorious Pacific.

We love it, of course, but now with a local perspective.

Christopher Dalton has produced multitudes of commercials as well as 14 movies in Canada and the U.S. He was expelled from every institute of higher learning, forcing him hide out in advertising and movies until popping up in Puerto Vallarta with his long-suffering wife Michelle. Visit his web site www.majorscorner.com.

© Christopher Dalton 2016

Reader forum