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EL JALAPEÑO

El Jalapeño is a satirical news publication intended for entertainment purposes only. While our headlines may be inspired by real news events, all articles, quotes, statistics, and content are entirely fictional and created for comedic effect.

Nothing published by El Jalapeño should be construed as factual reporting.

¡Picante pero no real!

El Jalapeño: Mexico thanks Trump for strengthening economy and currency, requests...

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Threats from the U.S. president have done nothing to slow down Mexico's economy or currency. In fact, they seem to be helping.
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El Jalapeño: AI-driven manufacturing is booming in Mexico, says AI

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AI driven manufacturing helped spur record exports from Mexico in July, a trend that will continue, says AI.
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El Jalapeño: Aside from derailments, budget overruns, low ridership and environmental...

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Government officials continue to assert that the Maya Train is a massive access, despite all evidence to the contrary.
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VIDEO OF THE WEEK

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

El Jalapeño: US, Mexico near trade war over right to misname European cheese

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The U.S. and Mexico are locked in a bitter dispute over fake cheese, putting the future of the USMCA agreement in very real peril.

El Jalapeño: US asks Mexico to keep its citizens from even looking at the...

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Recent high-level talks between Mexico and the U.S. to curb illegal immigration came with an unusual request from the Trump administration.

El Jalapeño: Jalisco residents fear real-life Guillermo del Toro horror movie following discovery of...

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A terrifying scenario out of a Guillermo del Toro movie has Jalisco residents worried about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse.

El Jalapeño: New Olinia Carga EV will excel at moving tiny cargo miniscule distances, officials confirm

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Mexico's new electric cargo vehicle goes on sale next year and promises an enhanced ability to move almost nothing virtually nowhere.

El Jalapeño: Puerto Vallarta crocodiles request civil restraint, propose designated zones for humans

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After an uptick in attacks by and towards crocodiles in Puerto Vallarta, local crocodiles have sought to de-escalate tensions.

El Jalapeño: Mexico City officials petition Nobel Peace Prize committee on behalf of conchas

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Fresh off having pan dulce declared an Intangible Cultural Heritage, Mexico City officials have set their sights on a bigger prize.

El Jalapeño: Oxxo announces ambitious plan to open new stores inside existing locations

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Where can convenient store chain Oxxo expand now that it has locations on virtually every corner in Mexico? The answer is shockingly simple.

El Jalapeño: FIFA allowed Mexico to host 2026 World Cup matches in exchange for Estadio Azteca’s entire revenue stream

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FIFA has explained that its billion dollar profits on the 2026 World Cup while Estadio Azteca owners lost millions was all part of the plan.

El Jalapeño: Mexico and Japan to collaborate on new sargassum-themed restaurant chain

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With tons of sargassum washing up on Mexico's Caribbean beaches daily, the nation has partnered with Japan on a tasty new restaurant concept.

El Jalapeño: US enacts emergency guacamole rationing protocol following brief avocado import pause

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The brief U.S. suspension of avocado imports from Mexico set off a panic among the country's guacamole consumers.

El Jalapeño: Tulum named world’s happiest destination by company no one has ever heard of

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Tulum is the "happiest place on Earth," according to a travel insurance company with no real experience of the destination.

El Jalapeño: In response to tequila tariffs, Mexico promises to raise duties on obscure foreign liquors

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Incensed by foreign taxes on tequila, Mexico plans to retaliate with tariffs aimed at making obscure foreign liquors even harder to find.

El Jalapeño: Sheinbaum warns of the dangers of social media on her social media platforms

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President Sheinbaum is worried about the effects of social media on kids, a concern she recently shared via X, Instagram and TikTok.
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