HomeEl Jalapeño

MND_EL JALAPEÑO

El Jalapeño is a satirical news publication intended for entertainment purposes only. While our headlines may be inspired by real news events, all articles, quotes, statistics, and content are entirely fictional and created for comedic effect.

Nothing published by El Jalapeño should be construed as factual reporting.

¡Picante pero no real!

El Jalapeño: Education Minister describes school as pointless waste of time...

MND Plus - 5
When the Education Minister publicly announces there is no point in going to school, writing satire becomes very difficult indeed.
Read more
an elderly American expat with a shabby hat (but otherwise perfect clothes), looking confused as he shops at a horrible market in Mexico

El Jalapeño: Expat’s catastrophic year continues as peso refuses to weaken

El Jalapeno - 9
Tragic: a strong peso has left American expats unable to afford a country they moved to because it was cheap.
Read more

El Jalapeño: 50,000 people pack Zócalo to watch 7 Korean men...

El Jalapeno - 5
Apparently, some of them even found it fun.
Read more

El Jalapeno

BETA Version - Powered by Perplexity

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

El Jalapeño: Los Cabos celebrates the opening of its 10,000th pharmacy 

El Jalapeno - 1
Authorities are hopeful that the city will break the six figure mark by 2035.

El Jalapeño: Americans shocked to discover Mexico contains bars that are not in a...

El Jalapeno - 1
What do you mean, you have to pay for each drink individually? We've got the day pass!

El Jalapeño: Farmacias Similares announces repatriation employment program; returning Mexicans to be given foam...

El Jalapeno - 3
Not to be outdone by Heineken, Mexico's most beloved pharmaceutical salesman has an idea; take a look at our latest dose of satire.

El Jalapeño: Mexican president’s entire visit to Spain costs less than the pretzels on Air Force One

El Jalapeno - 2
Head of state of 130 million people gets surge-priced on the way back from summit, triples total spend.

El Jalapeño: Tourist travels 2000 miles to try record Guacamole; upset by lack of chips

El Jalapeno - 0
A man flew to Michoacán for the world's largest guacamole and left without a single chip. He ate four portions anyway. He gave it four stars. This is his story.

El Jalapeño: Company whose entire purpose is logistics reports ‘logistical issues’

El Jalapeno - 0
Even for Magnicharters, this was a new low.

El Jalapeño: Andrea Bocelli and Los Ángeles Azules concert leaves city officials wondering what they’ve started

El Jalapeno - 1
Mexico City confirms it will "absolutely do this again" without specifying any limits whatsoever.

El Jalapeño: Mexico to reduce deficit by renting out National Palace; tanning salon and quinceañera hall now accepting bookings

El Jalapeno - 0
Mexico is monetising the National Palace to reduce the deficit. The tanning balcony is now bookable by the hour. The east courtyard is available for quinceañeras. The tamales will be gone before you arrive. This is official government policy.

El Jalapeño: 300-kg crocodile relocated for safety of tourists, even though it was there first

El Jalapeno - 5
It's bold to tell an ancient monster of the deep to get out of its own home, but it looks like that's exactly what people in Puerto Escondido did.

El Jalapeño: Hot Wheels announces expanded Mexico collection; will include mattress pickup and microbus with functioning saint

El Jalapeno - 6
Nothing says "Viva Mexico" like a toy garbage truck with a real, working airhorn.

El Jalapeño: Mexico to build delicate, power-intensive supercomputer in seismically active, water scarce country

El Jalapeno - 1
Earthquakes? Check. Water shortages? Check. Power outages? Check. There's nowhere better you could possibly build this thing.
Mystery fish

El Jalapeño: Mexican restaurants assure customers that, technically, everything still counts as fish

MND Plus - 2
When is a fish not a fish? Probably when it's on a menu in Mexico.

El Jalapeño: Local woman hosts 46 nations, defuses regional conflicts renovates stadium; Still no FIFA peace prize

El Jalapeno - 2
Seriously Gianni, what more could you want?
Load more