HomeEl Jalapeño

EL JALAPEÑO

El Jalapeño is a satirical news publication intended for entertainment purposes only. While our headlines may be inspired by real news events, all articles, quotes, statistics, and content are entirely fictional and created for comedic effect.

Nothing published by El Jalapeño should be construed as factual reporting.

¡Picante pero no real!

El Jalapeño: South African soccer team arrive in Pachuca, discover first...

El Jalapeno - 1
At least one player asked if they'd accidentally become part of the plot of Cool Runnings.
Read more

El Jalapeño: US Embassy introduces new policy to mind its own...

El Jalapeno - 1
It turns out the State Department accidentally had Mexico listed as "State #51."
Read more

El Jalapeño: Mexico City schools move to slash in-class phone use...

El Jalapeno - 1
Students are reportedly concerned that the reforms may lead to excessive education.
Read more

El Jalapeno

BETA Version - Powered by Perplexity

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

El Jalapeño: Mexico, EU sign historic trade deal to bravely protect world from duty-free...

El Jalapeno - 3
After months of tense talks, mankind can rest easy knowing that the cheapest, tattiest of products will not flood our streets tariff-free.

El Jalapeño: American foodies devastated as Mexico City taco stand loses Michelin star

MND Plus - 2
Heartbreak: now tourists will have to enjoy the rest of the city, instead.

El Jalapeño: Mexico activates ‘reconquest protocol’ ahead of Spanish King’s World Cup visit

El Jalapeno - 3
This is not a test. Reconquest protocols have been activated in your area. Please report any suspicious men on horseback or Spaniards in full armor. Thank you.
Olinia

El Jalapeño: Mexico unveils revolutionary electric vehicle just slightly larger than your grocery cart

El Jalapeno - 4
If you thought the microbus was overcrowded, wait until you see one of these.

El Jalapeño: Education Minister describes school as pointless waste of time that children still have to attend

MND Plus - 8
When the Education Minister publicly announces there is no point in going to school, writing satire becomes very difficult indeed.
an elderly American expat with a shabby hat (but otherwise perfect clothes), looking confused as he shops at a horrible market in Mexico

El Jalapeño: Expat’s catastrophic year continues as peso refuses to weaken

El Jalapeno - 9
Tragic: a strong peso has left American expats unable to afford a country they moved to because it was cheap.

El Jalapeño: 50,000 people pack Zócalo to watch 7 Korean men wave from a balcony for 5 minutes

El Jalapeno - 5
Apparently, some of them even found it fun.

El Jalapeño: Los Cabos celebrates the opening of its 10,000th pharmacy 

El Jalapeno - 1
Authorities are hopeful that the city will break the six figure mark by 2035.

El Jalapeño: Americans shocked to discover Mexico contains bars that are not in a wristband resort

El Jalapeno - 1
What do you mean, you have to pay for each drink individually? We've got the day pass!

El Jalapeño: Farmacias Similares announces repatriation employment program; returning Mexicans to be given foam costumes and told to dance

El Jalapeno - 3
Not to be outdone by Heineken, Mexico's most beloved pharmaceutical salesman has an idea; take a look at our latest dose of satire.

El Jalapeño: Mexican president’s entire visit to Spain costs less than the pretzels on Air Force One

El Jalapeno - 2
Head of state of 130 million people gets surge-priced on the way back from summit, triples total spend.

El Jalapeño: Tourist travels 2000 miles to try record Guacamole; upset by lack of chips

El Jalapeno - 0
A man flew to Michoacán for the world's largest guacamole and left without a single chip. He ate four portions anyway. He gave it four stars. This is his story.

El Jalapeño: Company whose entire purpose is logistics reports ‘logistical issues’

El Jalapeno - 0
Even for Magnicharters, this was a new low.
Load more