My wife and I have been thinking and talking a lot lately about the issue of mental health.
It seems like almost everyone we know these days is dealing with something. Not that everyone everywhere hasn’t always been dealing with something, but to us, things feel different now. It seems that people are struggling more now with managing everything in their daily life, and I think that the constant reinforcement of the “everything is awesome” message from people’s social media feeds isn’t helping either.
I’ve also been thinking about some recent conversations I’ve had with many people I know who have recently moved to different parts of Mexico. Some of them are struggling as well. In talking to them and trying to understand the root of their stress, I find some common themes, but fortunately I think there are some solutions.
The conversations usually revolve around what is not right in Mexico (when they compare things to what they’re used to back home in the United States).
Contractors do not arrive on time. Work is not done to the standards they expected. Things take longer than promised. Neighbors don’t act the way they wish they would. City services are not up to the level they would like them to be. And so on…and on.
These conversations can have a pretty negative effect on my own mental health as sometimes it seems as if the only thing that they want to do is unload their stress and complain — about everything.
It’s starting to feel like people see me as the “all things Mexico complaint department,” as if being the owner of Mexico News Daily somehow granted me special powers to fix all of their issues here.
Just the other night, in yet another session of complaints from some recently relocated gringo friends, I had a revelation.
At one point in the conversation, I stopped them and said: “What if you try focusing on what’s right about Mexico instead of always what’s wrong with Mexico?”
I gave a few personal examples from life in San Miguel de Allende.
Are the local city buses annoying because they are loud and belch exhaust? Or are they a blessing that allows families, the elderly and kids from all socio-economic levels an affordable and accessible way to stay connected to work, schools, churches, restaurants, shops and social events in the central city?
Are the speed bumps an unnecessary nuisance? Or are they a blessing because they force traffic to slow down, allow drivers to actually communicate with and greet each other, and help make our city so walkable for everyone?
Is the hot afternoon sun we are all experiencing right now a curse? Or is it a gift that encourages us to appreciate the mornings and evenings, to slow down and take it easy for a few weeks, catch up on reading Mexico News Daily articles, and maybe even catch a short afternoon siesta?
Is the fact that there is no Costco or Walmart in town a negative? Or is it a blessing as it forces many of us to get out and connect to the community, and support small business owners?
Is the constant noise of music, dogs, chickens, construction, and fireworks a nuisance that should be complained about and regulated? Or is it a constant friendly reminder that we are not alone and instead are part of a diverse, happy, vibrant community? For example, I was recently woken up by an event at a local park testing their sound system by blaring songs from the Bee Gees — what better alarm clock is there than that?!
I have by no means mastered the ability to completely focus on what’s right about Mexico more than what’s wrong yet, but I am working hard at managing my perspective.
I think that by doing so, it goes a long way towards keeping me in good mental health during what are some pretty crazy times in the world today.
As I think more about it, this mindset of course not only applies to living in Mexico, but to living anywhere. I think it might just be a key factor in improving our mental health and being happier people in our daily lives. Think about it, and more importantly, try practicing it!
Travis Bembenek is the CEO of Mexico News Daily and has been living, working or playing in Mexico for over 27 years.
Thank you for this!
You are absolutely right! Thank you for reminding the “cranky pants” among us that Mexico gives us so much.
Beauty, Life, Community, and a reminder that we in the so-called first world need to pick our battles.
Gringos just love to complain! We live in a very relaxed , beautiful place that is so much easier to live than up north. I always say to the complainers who seem to have grown in numbers, Mexico is not a place for those easily frustrated, lacking in a sense of humor, impatient and expect everything to be like up north, you have come to the wrong place. COVID brought a lot of the wrong people to Mexico who completely lack the understanding that this is a very different place to live. Besides the significant cost difference in just about everything, the feeling of freedom that is not like the other part of north America exists here. Furthermore, if you really want Mexico to be like the States and Canada, do you really want to pay the taxes to make it that way? So, if you don’t like it, you know what to do. Meanwhile, I will be enjoying the lack of rules/laws, the fresh food, great music and the beautiful people and culture.
I loved your observations. So timely and true. Mexico can have its moments of, should I say, “difficulties”, but nothing compared to the peace, friendliness of the people everywhere, the music, the enchantment of the festivities and traditions, culture, gatherings, friendships, and less costly than in other countries.
¡Add my smile to my Mexico! I was born here, of American parents, and have stayed here forever.
That photo says it all! I’ve traveled and lived all over the World. Mexican children are the most content.
There is so much which is right about México, thank you.
Absolutely! Thank you…I walk away from negative people who do not appreciate the wonderful life in Mexico.
To be able to assimilate fully in any country, you have to be able to recognize – and ideally embrace – the little things that mean so much to the people. That, I think, is especially true of Mexico. People don’t have a lot of “stuff” and they generally can’t afford to be impeccably dressed or follow the latest fashion. But the Mexicans still look beautiful to me just the way they are and no children can be more adorable than los Morenitos with their flawless brown skin, enormous serious eyes, and a pretty mouth that won’t smile unless they feel secure and there is a reason for it. Just like their papas. But when they do, it really means something. They are all so proud of their wonderful culture and traditions, and the exquisite cuisine that we all have come to depend on. Mexico has made my life richer than anything else has – except, perhaps, for my own children born in the USA to an immigrant girl originally from Sweden… Thank you, Sr. Bembenek. Que le vaya bien! Saludos y !VIVA MEXICO!
I recall vividly the first time a friend who had lived in Mejico for years, explained to me that the word “manana” does not literally mean tomorrow. It means
Later….sometimes much later…
The only times I regret my bad Mexican timing is sometimes just after ordering my lunch at the local restaurant, the Mariachis arrive. Mexican music is played loud and then come the trumpets forcing this old geezer to remove his hearing aids and smile…..heh…heh.