The reluctant immigrants

To begin to discuss the realities of emigration from Mexico, I often begin by looking closer to home. I have a good friend, a fellow U.S. citizen, who I’ll call Hannah.

She met her spouse of more than 10 years — we’ll call him Mario — in the United States. Because Mario was undocumented, their ability to keep their family together in the U.S. was uncertain. They decided to all move to Mario’s native Mexico.

For Hannah, adjusting was a challenge. She faced learning both Spanish and a brand new culture, all while continuing her work as an accountant. Her husband, a skilled builder, built their house on family land and took charge of the children and running the household. The adjustment period was long, but Hannah found ways to make her life in Mexico a happy one.

Unfortunately, there were certain problems that simply did not have solutions in Mexico. Because of this, Hannah made the difficult decision to move back to the U.S.

She and her children now meet Mario just over the border every few weeks or so, for a couple of days. They are currently trying to secure the proper paperwork for him to move to the U.S. and be with his family. But the odds aren’t great.

Opportunities in the U.S.

Most immigrants to the U.S. will tell you about how their lives became better. They were safer. They were able to do honest work. They earned enough money to support family at home and construct enough of a nest egg for a business or a home there in the future.

Indeed, millions of Mexican households get by, in a very literal sense, on remittances. The president of Mexico said recently that money sent from abroad “has become the main source of income for our country.” Although remittances actually represent around four percent of the country’s GDP, for many families, the idea that they are the main source of income is 100% true. As many of us know, how well you can live off of hard work depends on many things that are out of our control.

Even many immigrants to Mexico now do a modern version of the same thing. If you’re employed online by a U.S. company and living in Mexico, then you’re essentially sending remittances to yourself and your family. Comparable jobs in Mexico simply do not cover enough expenses. This is especially true if you’re a foreigner without local family ties and support.

Sometimes, of course, immigrants put down roots. Sometimes they even fall in love, get married, have kids. There’s a tendency to reduce immigrants in the U.S. to their immigration status alone. Are they there lawfully or unlawfully? Lawful means they “did things right.” “Unlawful” means, in the eyes of many, that they are criminals.

My gripes about capital being permitted and encouraged to move abroad when it helps capitalists economically while laborers are prevented from doing so and classified as criminals for trying will have to be a separate article.

In any case, they are, of course, humans who do very normal human things. We grow and develop and make connections wherever we are.

Unfortunately, increasingly tougher immigration rules mean that their lives could be, and sometimes are, quickly uprooted. And when this happens, families face a choice: split up, or leave the country all together.

Going back to where they came from

There is a sizable population spread throughout Mexico and Latin America of spouses and children who’ve “returned” with their deported family members. Most of these spouses are women, and many of them come with minimal knowledge of the culture and language. Children must often be sent to school without a good grasp of Spanish.

At least when they first arrive, things tend to get a lot worse. The U.S. jobs and wages that supported the family are gone. Suddenly, the whole family faces the reduced opportunities that the deported person was trying to escape from in the first place.

That isn’t to say that these moves are carried out with no planning. Sometimes, the plan is an over-the border-dynamic: the American spouse lives on one side of the bridge, the Mexican spouse on the other. In other cases, an American might be able to cross daily in order to work, depending on their jobs, skill sets and transportation options.

When the only choice is to go deeper into Mexico, American workers will often try to secure online work. This tends to work fairly well, at least in the economic sphere. As many of us are discovering, though, U.S. companies are becoming increasingly strict about their workers residing physically in the United States. And a lost U.S. job that supports a Mexican family can mean financial ruin.

So this is why they left

Poverty in the absence of U.S. salaries is of course one of the reasons that a move back can be tough. Starting over anywhere is expensive, especially when it must be planned hastily. Heartbreaking stories about lacking even basic things like refrigerators, beds and Christmas presents for kids abound.

Many women become sharply aware of other dynamics once in Mexico, too. Especially for those “coming back” to smaller and more humble communities, expectations and stereotypes can be very strong. Unfortunately for us, some Mexicans still have an American-Girls-Gone-Wild notion of American women. And ladies they suppose spend all their time in wet t-shirt contests are not presumed to be good wives and mothers.

Even when they do speak the language and learn more about the culture, outsider status is pervasive. When you’re one of a small group in any given place, you become the official representative of that group. And as any minority-group member will tell you, that’s an exhausting job. Especially when you don’t have anyone from your own group around for support.

So what will become of Hannah and Mario? For now, they’re crossing their fingers that the thousands of dollars spent on legal fees will pay off.

Until then, the family will be together only in fits and spurts, visiting when they can. Their longing and love will stretch across the invisible line that divides Mexico from the U.S. until they’re reunited — if they ever are.

Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.