El Jalapeño: Mexico confirms World Cup visitors will be greeted by construction site, taxi war and National Guard before reaching baggage claim

All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news. Check out the original article here.

MEXICO CITY — Officials at Mexico City International Airport confirmed this week that the $416-million renovation of the facility will not be completed before the World Cup begins on June 11, assuring the estimated millions of international visitors that the experience of arriving into a half-finished building actively disputed by rival transport factions and supervised by armed federal agents will nonetheless represent “a significant improvement” on what was there before.

Airport Director General Juan José Padilla said Phase One of the renovations — defined, after some reflection, as whatever gets finished — will be 100% complete by the tournament’s opening match. Phase Two, which includes baggage carousels, elevators, drainage, staircases, and parking, will not. Padilla described this as “the original schedule,” in the same tone a man uses when he has just decided something was always the plan.

renovations at Mexico City international airport
The original schedule allowed for 10-20% of the remodel to be completed after the World Cup concludes. But with under three months left before the World Cup kicks off on June 11, more than one-third of the renovations remain. (Camila Ayala Benabib/Cuartoscuro)

Visitors navigating the terminal in the meantime can expect blocked sidewalks, narrowed corridors, out-of-service staircases, reduced waiting areas, and the ambient soundtrack of heavy machinery, which officials said would give the airport “an atmosphere of momentum and progress” that reflects Mexico’s energy as a host nation.

Upon successfully exiting the construction zone, arrivals will then enter the airport’s ground transportation area, currently the site of an ongoing jurisdictional conflict between traditional taxi operators and ride-hailing apps including Uber, the resolution of which involves the National Guard and several pending court orders.

It is unclear whether Uber will be permitted to collect passengers with the same freedom it currently enjoys, a question that FIFA delegations, team coaches, and 48 national football federations are advised to consider before landing.

To stress-test the facility ahead of June, officials confirmed the airport will use the Easter holiday rush — approximately 4 million domestic tourists — as a dress rehearsal. The actual performance follows six weeks later, before a global audience, with less margin for error.

Padilla said he was confident. He said this on the radio, from somewhere that was not the airport.

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