El Jalapeño: US Embassy introduces new policy to mind its own business

All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news. Check out the original article here.

MEXICO CITY — The U.S. Embassy in Mexico said Tuesday it has launched a new initiative to help Americans understand the difference between bilateral cooperation and commenting on Mexico’s internal affairs, after Ambassador Ronald Johnson drew a public rebuke from President Claudia Sheinbaum for weighing in on domestic politics.

The program, informally called “Hands Off, But In Touch,” comes with laminated cue cards, approved talking points and a weekly reminder that Mexican affairs are for Mexicans to handle. Embassy staff said the goal is not silence, but “strategic restraint.”

It’s not yet clear if Ambassador Johnson has got the message.

Inside the embassy, diplomats reportedly underwent a short training session on how to express concern without sounding like they had already written a campaign slogan. One official said the hardest part was learning that “respecting sovereignty” is not the same thing as “vaguely acknowledging another country while sending in the CIA.”

A visitor from Ohio said he had assumed embassies mostly handled visas, passports and the occasional diplomatic lunch, not constitutional interpretations. By evening, staff said the new program had made progress, although Johnson was still reviewing whether “stay in your lane” counted as a bilateral issue.

Check out our Jalapeño archive here.

Got an idea for a Jalapeño article? Email us with your suggestions!

1 COMMENT

Have something to say? Paid Subscribers get all access to make & read comments.

El Jalapeño: Mexico achieves win against France (just not in the World Cup, apparently)

0
Isaac del Toro's historic Tour de France stage win doesn't count for the World Cup, sporting officials confirm.

El Jalapeño: Vatican elevates Soccer Baby Jesus to full pilgrimage status, citing ‘undeniable results’

2
Can pilgrimages to the shrine of Soccer Baby Jesus help Mexico win the World Cup? It can't hurt, the Vatican says.
Trump laser etched avocado

El Jalapeño: Mexico proposes Trump-faced avocados to save the USMCA

9
With negotiations ongoing to renew the USMCA trade agreement, Mexico has a bold new proposal.
BETA Version - Powered by Perplexity