El Jalapeño: US Embassy introduces new policy to mind its own business

All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news. Check out the original article here.

MEXICO CITY — The U.S. Embassy in Mexico said Tuesday it has launched a new initiative to help Americans understand the difference between bilateral cooperation and commenting on Mexico’s internal affairs, after Ambassador Ronald Johnson drew a public rebuke from President Claudia Sheinbaum for weighing in on domestic politics.

The program, informally called “Hands Off, But In Touch,” comes with laminated cue cards, approved talking points and a weekly reminder that Mexican affairs are for Mexicans to handle. Embassy staff said the goal is not silence, but “strategic restraint.”

It’s not yet clear if Ambassador Johnson has got the message.

Inside the embassy, diplomats reportedly underwent a short training session on how to express concern without sounding like they had already written a campaign slogan. One official said the hardest part was learning that “respecting sovereignty” is not the same thing as “vaguely acknowledging another country while sending in the CIA.”

A visitor from Ohio said he had assumed embassies mostly handled visas, passports and the occasional diplomatic lunch, not constitutional interpretations. By evening, staff said the new program had made progress, although Johnson was still reviewing whether “stay in your lane” counted as a bilateral issue.

Check out our Jalapeño archive here.

Got an idea for a Jalapeño article? Email us with your suggestions!

1 COMMENT

Have something to say? Paid Subscribers get all access to make & read comments.

El Jalapeño: Mexico City officials petition Nobel Peace Prize committee on behalf of conchas

0
Fresh off having pan dulce declared an Intangible Cultural Heritage, Mexico City officials have set their sights on a bigger prize.

El Jalapeño: Oxxo announces ambitious plan to open new stores inside existing locations

2
Where can convenient store chain Oxxo expand now that it has locations on virtually every corner in Mexico? The answer is shockingly simple.

El Jalapeño: FIFA allowed Mexico to host 2026 World Cup matches in exchange for Estadio Azteca’s entire revenue stream

2
FIFA has explained that its billion dollar profits on the 2026 World Cup while Estadio Azteca owners lost millions was all part of the plan.
BETA Version - Powered by Perplexity