El Jalapeño: US Embassy introduces new policy to mind its own business

All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news. Check out the original article here.

MEXICO CITY — The U.S. Embassy in Mexico said Tuesday it has launched a new initiative to help Americans understand the difference between bilateral cooperation and commenting on Mexico’s internal affairs, after Ambassador Ronald Johnson drew a public rebuke from President Claudia Sheinbaum for weighing in on domestic politics.

The program, informally called “Hands Off, But In Touch,” comes with laminated cue cards, approved talking points and a weekly reminder that Mexican affairs are for Mexicans to handle. Embassy staff said the goal is not silence, but “strategic restraint.”

It’s not yet clear if Ambassador Johnson has got the message.

Inside the embassy, diplomats reportedly underwent a short training session on how to express concern without sounding like they had already written a campaign slogan. One official said the hardest part was learning that “respecting sovereignty” is not the same thing as “vaguely acknowledging another country while sending in the CIA.”

A visitor from Ohio said he had assumed embassies mostly handled visas, passports and the occasional diplomatic lunch, not constitutional interpretations. By evening, staff said the new program had made progress, although Johnson was still reviewing whether “stay in your lane” counted as a bilateral issue.

Check out our Jalapeño archive here.

Got an idea for a Jalapeño article? Email us with your suggestions!

1 COMMENT

Have something to say? Paid Subscribers get all access to make & read comments.

El Jalapeño: Bomb squad heroically ‘defuses’ suspicious churros found on Mexico City Metro

1
An elite tactical unit called out after a suspicious box of churros were left on the Mexico City Metro quickly made the problem disappear.

El Jalapeño: Guanajuato residents mistake arrival of French acrobats for third ‘French Intervention’

0
The unexpected appearance of Gallic acrobats over Guanajuato alarmed locals, who feared the coming of a new "Maximiliano and Carlota."

El Jalapeño: Mexico blasts France for delay in returning a book it borrowed 166 years ago

3
Mexico and France have become embroiled in a "war of words" after the latter took 166 years to return (briefly) a historically significant book.
BETA Version - Powered by Perplexity