Among many of the shocking changes U.S. President Donald Trump has implemented is one that is downright silly. I speak, of course, of the “renaming” of the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America.
Part of the reason it’s silly is because most U.S. citizens are so bad at geography that they’d be hard-pressed to identify the Gulf on a map.

So far, it feels like we’re living inside of that irreverent 2004 movie “Team America: World Police.” I frequently double-check the URL when reading the news these days: am I reading The New York Times or The Onion?
But on this, it’s the ridiculous truth. In Mexico, we’ll see the original, internationally-recognized name. But connect to a maps platform in the United States, we’re told, the “Gulf of America” will appear.
I do not support this name change because it is silly and stupid, the equivalent of giving someone a mean nickname and breaking into the school records system to officially change it. But I do feel the need to point out that there are many Mexicans, as well as U.S. citizens, who like to say, “But we’re all Americans!” if someone dare refer to a US citizen as “American.” It’s preachy and annoying, and always induces an eye roll in me. Because look: Mexico is also “The United States of Mexico,” so we literally don’t have a name that’s all our own.
In the meantime, I’ve decided that we in Mexico might as well make some name change suggestions of our own. After all, why stop at the Gulf? Now, if we want a chance of them getting accepted in the U.S., they’d better be in English. Might they ever meet with the kind of tepid acceptance of “freedom fries”? There’s only one way to find out.

Below are some suggestions I’ve come up with while we’ve got the name-changing momentum. Let me know what you think!
First, let’s start with the state names. As many of you surely know, what is now the southwestern region of the United States used to be most of Mexico. I don’t get too excitable about the politics of it since neither country was concerned with Indigenous peoples having rights to their land, but hey: this game is about pettiness, not justice.
Texas, of course, is one of the proudest states around. I saw it reflected in the road signs on my recent trip there: “Slow down, you’re already in Texas!” The story behind the name is that it was the name given to an early Spanish friar by the Caddo, whose homeland was East Texas. Supposedly it was their word for “friend.” There’s some debate regarding the truth of this story, but one thing that’s certain is that Texans pride ourselves on our friendliness. How about “Friendland”?
Florida! I sympathize with Florida because, like Texas, most reasonably smart and concerned citizens there get drowned out by all the much-better-advertised crazies. In Spanish, “florido” means “flowering” or covered in flowers, which is just lovely. So for Florida, here is my proposal: Flowery. It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but we’re going for English-sounding here. It’ll do.

While we’re in Florida, actually, let’s discuss Mar-a-Lago. This is a curious name: in Spanish, “Mar,” is sea; “a” is a preposition that can mean “to” or “at”; and “lago” is lake. As a phrase, though, it sounds awkward without a “de” in front. Anyway, Sea-to-Lake would be its English version. But if climate change keeps going the way it has, we’ll likely be leaving it as “Sea” before long. Hopefully the neighbors are able to retreat before that happens.
Nevada means “snowed upon.” I would love to see something a little more exciting, though… How about Snowyliscious? It’s the home of showy Las Vegas, after all, so it seems like a good name to me. Speaking of Las Vegas… a vega is a meadow. “The Meadows?” It certainly sounds classier, and with name like Snowyliscious, they’re going to need all the help they can get.
Arizona: Arid zone. Well. That is not exciting. I’m having fun jazzing some of these other ones up, so Arizona, you’re next: Please Oh God I Need Some Water is your new name. Congratulations!
Time to move onto some city names now, which will be easier. I promise not to make them too crazy, because we don’t want to lose track, right? Here we go:

Los Angeles: The Angels. This is actually very romantic and I love it. No notes.
San Francisco is Saint Francis. You can also call it Saint Frank. For San Antonio, try Saint Anthony. San Jose can be Saint Joseph.
El Paso: The Pass. This sounds extra foreboding, and I think it would give this city way more street cred. It makes it sound like that place in “The Neverending Story” where Bastion has to go through those sphinx statues with laser eyes.
Alamo is the Spanish word for the poplar tree. There are cities named Alamo, but I think the fort should get this name, too. Remember the Poplar! This is not a bad phrase. We should remember trees!
To the readers who’ve made it this far: this is all a joke, of course. What’s the phrase? We laugh because we can’t cry? Actually, that might just be my own phrase; perhaps the rest of you have healthier coping mechanisms.
Let me know if I missed any jewels in the comments!
Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.
Dale, The Gulf of Mexico first appeared on a World Map in 1550. At that time Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Utah, Nevada & California were all part of Mexico & bordered the Gulf….hence The Gulf of Mexico.
Utah & Colorado have never bordered the gulf.
The Gulf of Mexico was named by Spanish conquistadors in the 1500s, before the United States were anything, and there weren’t any states bordering the gulf. Let’s reach a happy compromise and name it the Gulf of Chicxulub , after the asteroid that hit Earth 66 million years ago, and created it. Chicxulub is a small village on the Gulf, and the asteroid, discovered in 1970, was named for it. Chicxulub means “tail of the devil” in Maya. I doubt many Americans know that fun fact, and even fewer could pronounce it. I lived in Akumal for ten years and learned a bit of Maya and history while I was there. Thanks for a fun, cheeky article!
Perhaps this bit of historical information needs to be sent to the guy who is trying to make the change.
Keep in mind he is stupid and has never had an original thought or opened a book.
All of this type of foolishness distracts us from the damage he is inflicting on the country.
It took the Biden administration 2 years to fix his last screw ups.It will take longer this time.
Your head is anywhere but on your shoulders
California was named by the Spanish. It means “land of the ruler,” after Califia, who was a queen in a Spanish novel, “Las Sergas de Esplandian.” Califia comes from the Arabic word, khalifa, which means ruler or leader. California is Land of Califia. The Land of Leaders. Which we are!
I AM in total agreement w majority of you!
God help Our Country!
It is acceptable to rename the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America. Consider that many bodies of water have two or more names. For instance, the Rio Grande in the United States is called the Rio Bravo in Mexico, while the Sea of Cortez in Mexico is known as the Gulf of California in the United States.
Instead of focusing on name changes, we should be more concerned about the additional expenses related to our taxes. That is what truly matters!
By the way, Leo, it’s clear that biden (it doesn’t deserve capitals) cannot fix his trousers.
Don’t worry Sunbeam, your president has got your taxes fixed in his head already.
I plan to visit the gulf of America soon to celebrate the name change. All are invited!
want to discuss history? When Mexico (the Vicereinado de la Nueva Espana- as Mexico came later) it covered all of what is now the US Southwest, Central America and the Philipines. The corruption (which is the only real legacy from Spain- those living here did not need language or religion- created the petty power fights (still going on today, providing you are not blinded by the apparent popularity of AMLO’s puppet) pushed the Central American departments to declare independe from Mexico, this at one point included Chiapas and Merida. for those who understand history, land was bought, conquered and sold. Santa Ana gave away Tejas to save his skin. Later when President Polk decided to initiate the war with Mexico in order to meet his vision of Manifest Destiny- guess what: Santa Ana was again President of Mexico (it was a revolving door for him). Thus, he was not able to get the moneys and soldiers from the governors of the states that hated him. The defense of Mexico was heroic with the limited resources he had. At the end, Mexico sold territory to the US. At the same time we bought Alaska from the Russians and Jefferson had completed the Lousiana purchase.
So history goes on, it does not stop. But emotional ignorance still rules
Gonna be nice ::: HE IS A CLOWN *
trump and his mindless, unqualified minions running around in circles tearing down his own countrymen. Hopefully he will have a stroke or aneurism soon and we can be done with the madness……
The non-sense responses to a name change that should have been done a long time ago. Get over it! America has gotten its huevos back, not holding back on our “neighbors” who have taken advantage of the US for far too long.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world will keep calling it the Gulf of Mexico, as will the majority of USAmericans because most of us are not brainwashed right-wing bubble dwellers and therefore do not slurp up the lies and delusions of their authoritarian dementia daddy.
North America, South America, Central America. I think k the Gulf of America makes sense to me. It is the the Gulf of Mexico. It belongs to the Americas. So, Gulf of America makes more sense. Also, USA is the most powerful one in the region and the Gulf is on our geographic space.
Exaaaaaaaaaaaaaclyyyyy
Trump voter, Colombian American from South FL.
half of your argument is from a satirical reddit post, you’re a terrible “journalist”
You, on the other hand, are a little ray of sunshine and clearly a genius whose opinion is very valuable.
I think MND should discontinue comments so all the sick polarized Americans have to find somewhere else to spew their vile thoughts and sick minded opinions. Okay, there are a couple with brains in the crowd but the evidence in the comments is mainly to the contrary! Okay kids, start your vile attack of me, proudly not a USarian!!! I won’t be back to read the vile attacks so my feelings won’t be hurt!
I am a 52 yo republican and this the name change is not in good taste. We are acting like a bully in Politics right now, not a partner. Trump only knows one way, his way. I also believe he did rape her and he was involved with Epstein. Look at the pictures. Lies about knowing but let was in pictures. Classic gas lighter.
I fear we will have zero partners in 4 years. And honestly, I support Israel to an extent. Palestinian’s should have their own country and not be displaced. We are hypocrites in US. We’ve displaced countless American Indians. It’s the 21st century and it all need to stop.