A good friend of mine in Xalapa, a fellow paisano, has been frustrated with how long it’s taking her to learn Spanish.
“Well, you’ve got to make friends with Mexicans who don’t speak English!” I say. I’m mostly teasing, but it’s also true. If people are excited about speaking English with you, you’re just not going to learn Spanish too fast. The point is to talk to people who don’t speak your language so that you have no choice but to put yourself through the long and necessary humiliation of learning the new one.
Now, I don’t blame my friend for being friends with English speakers. She is lovely and worth getting to know. People sense this, so they are willing to use their second language in order to accomplish it, and I’m sure they’re glad they did.
But when most of your Mexican friends are pretty good English speakers, it limits your ability and your will to practice Spanish.
Something less discussed? It limits your ability to get to know large swaths of the culture, and public sentiment, too. Sure, your Mexican friends might tell you — in perfect English — all about “typical Mexican life.” I see evidence of this in the comments section often. “Well, my neighbor who is Mexican says that everyone in Mexico knows [former president] AMLO is just as bad as the rest!”
Not to insult anyone’s neighbor, but unless they happen to be a statistician, that is actually not knowledge that can be reliably trusted. I’m not saying their opinions are wrong. I’m just saying that their opinions are opinions and not necessarily indicative of a homogenous Mexican belief about something. This is a diverse place, and Mexicans who speak perfect English are the outliers, not the norm.
Most Mexicans who speak English are, at least by Mexican standards, fairly well off. Though I can’t speak for major tourist destinations, I know that in much of Mexico, one’s ability to learn to speak English fluently in public schools is pretty close to nil. This isn’t an insult to Mexican public schools. U.S. students mostly don’t learn other languages in their schools fluently,either.
That’s because it takes a lot to learn to get by in a language, and so much more to get fluent in a language. I myself was incredibly motivated studying Spanish in college, and took two years of steady classes, determined to master Spanish.
Was I able to utter a single coherent sentence once I got to Mexico? Ha. Ha ha. No. The answer is a resounding no. The only reason my Spanish is as good as it is is because I had the level of privilege necessary to study abroad. I didn’t have to work or earn money; my only “job” was to participate in the program that had been set up specifically for that purpose. I lived with host families who didn’t speak English. I went to school with people who didn’t speak English. I had to get all the things done I wanted to do — you guessed it — with people who didn’t speak English.
So now let’s think about this going the other way. Most English teachers in public schools in Mexico are not native English speakers. That doesn’t mean they can’t be good teachers, of course, but Mexican public schools are by no means bilingual schools.
Bilingual schools are invariably private, and only about 10-15% of students can afford to attend private school, which, importantly, are not necessarily schools in which students learn English. The kids in my daughter’s private school, for example, take English every year. Even so, most of them are in even worse shape linguistically than I was when I first arrived in Mexico. This is fine, honestly. None of us are sending our kids to this school because we want them to become fluent in English. If that were the goal, they’d be at the truly bilingual American school.
And if a private school is bilingual, it’s more expensive. If it’s bilingual and kids graduate from it actually being able to functionally speak English, it’s likely that it’s the most expensive school in town.
Conclusion? The Mexicans you know who speak perfect English — again, I’m exempting tourist areas in which I’ve never lived because I simply don’t know — are mostly from elite families. As a former English teacher for many years to students of all ages, I feel pretty confident in this assertion.
Why? Well, firstly, Learning to speak another language naturally is easiest when we’re children because of how our brains develop. And even so, it takes work. If someone is speaking their second language fluently, they almost certainly learned it as a child. Secondly, It is hard, hard, hard to learn a second language as an adult. Even when adults are extremely motivated, it’s more work once our brains are “set.” Most adults also have things they need to do besides learn a new language.
Without full focused immersion, even getting to a functional level in which you can both understand others and be understood is an uphill battle. I say “focused” because it’s possible to be immersed and still not learn a whole lot because you’re, say, working two jobs to send money back home to your family.
And look: I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with elite families. We all do everything we can for our children, and if we can give them the gift of learning a very useful language, of course we will. It would be ridiculous not to!
Still, I’d take it with a grain of salt when they assure you what “all Mexicans” are like or believe. If you’re richer than 90% of the population and have been afforded all the privileges that come with it, then by definition, you do not live like an “average Mexican.”
The conclusion I want people to draw from this is not that they shouldn’t make friends with people who are well off or who speak fluent English. Lots and lots of people are worth making friends with, and the language you do it in is not the most relevant thing.
But if you really want to learn Spanish, try seeking out people who don’t speak your language. You might even meet someone in the 70% of citizens who think Claudia’s doing a good job.
Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.
Great advice Sarah. When I studied in Guadalajara 30 years ago I deliberately wanted to live with a Mexican host family (versus in an apartment with other foreign kids) and requested to be alone with them (versus the normal two foreign kids per household). I was placed with a lower-middle class family of the grandma, mom, and three young daughters. I paid them $8 USD per day for very humble room and board (this rate was the standard rate contracted by the university with the family). There was only one bathroom for the 6 of us and my food consisted of mostly bananas and quesadillas. Many of the other foreign students lived with wealthy families that spoke perfect English. My family did not speak one word of English. It was not easy. BUT, I learned Spanish very quickly.
Sarah I always relate to your articles and I live in Veracruz too! Thisone is so on target and so NOT preachy. That’s why I like your articles….not preachy. I live in a small town and my husband is one of 8 and we are covered up socially in family functions so I get lots of practice. Almost no one I spend time with speaks English exceptfor my husband and a local Canadian English teacher who, luckily for both of us, I happened to “click” with.
On the other hand our daughter , raised in the US lives with her Mexican boyfriend in Mexico City. She calls him a “fresa” lol. He is fluent in English and is from the privileged class and feels like he is visiting another planet when he thinks of visiting us here.
I look forward to your next piece
JJ Morales
The frustrations of second language learning! I had attained a good intermediate level of German but wanted to become truly fluent, so while doing library research there I arranged through to live with a host family: They all spoke English, including the children. I had a great time with them, but every time I tried to get them speaking German, they’d go along for 5 minutes or so, then drift back into English. And I’m having the problems you describe so well in my tourist oriented town. Ah, well.
Great article Sarah. You are right on with this one👏👏
Bravo!!!
“Most Mexicans who speak English are, at least by Mexican standards, fairly well off.”
In my limited experience (3 years living in Mexico in 4 different cities) this is not the case. In fact, it’s completely opposite of what you describe. I have known hotel workers, barbers, taxi / Uber drivers, shopkeepers, store / pharmacy / bank clerks, gardeners, handymen, who have spoken limited to perfect English. These are working class people. A good conversation starter is, “¿Dónde aprendiste a hablar inglés?”
I’m curious, Michael…which cities did you live in?
Zapopan, Mazatlán, San Antonio Tlayacapan, Ixtlahuacán de los Membrillos.
I couldn’t agree more Michael. The article is an example of projection by the author and her own rather privileged history. I can’t tell you how many local and avatar Mexicans who have surprised me with their English.
And his did you learn I typically ask. The Mich common answer, seriously: “… Watching television”! To Debris privileged hammer everything is a golden nail…
I would add that in recent years many immigrants and their children who were raised in the US have moved back to Mexico, fluently bi-lingual. These are not elites, they are working class folks. I’ve met a several second generation US citizens who got tired of the rat race, saying the money isn’t so good but the way of life is. iEntiendo!
I’ve always felt that you learn what you absolutely need to learn in a foreign language, or whatever you are willing to endure humiliation for. Now, (in Spanish) my need to know is a little stronger than my ego’s defenses. Ojalá.
As for the other part, I can’t even guess how many times someone has tried to bolster an argument by referring to their friend who happens to be from the country or culture discussed. Yes, it’s a valid opinion, but taken alone it probably has little to bear on the issue. “I know a guy…” it drives me nuts.
I taught myself basic Spanish from a book in the year before I actually moved here. I could not imagine moving to a foreign country and not knowing at least the basics of the culture and language.
I used my Spanish on my very first day here when it was pouring rain and I had to ask where I could buy an umbrella. I ended up living in predominantly Mexican neighborhoods in the central area close to the plaza which made it easy to attend the fiestas and other events. The Spirit of Fun in Mexico is off the Richter scale that we know!
As a full time resident after a couple years I came to view the ever changing hordes of gringo visitors as foreigners. They all seemed so uptight about everything!
My Spanish really helped me make friends with my Mexican neighbors around the NOISE issue. I found they all felt the same way I did – extremely put off by it especially since I was a professional musician who knows a thing or two about sound systems. I encouraged them all to always call the local PD while the noise was going on so the PD could hear it over the phone! At times it was so loud I literally had to scream at the top of my lungs to be heard! The Mexicans were reluctant to complain because of fear of retribution. I convinced them that the PD would never do anything until they were swamped with complaints about the noise. I can truly say the noise problem has improved over time, that was all around 15 years ago!
Some of the nicest people I have ever met did not speak any English and I was glad to make friends with them. The self-segregated gringos don’t know what they are missing, or maybe they just don’t care. they are just here on vacation.
I completely agree with you, Sarah! There’s nothing wrong with making friends with (native or non-native) English speakers, but if that is your entire social circle, you’re going to get a skewed point of view of the country and are going to have a hard time learning Spanish.
I noticed that even when I go out to social events, bars, and clubs, overwhelmingly the people who approach me on their own are bilingual Mexicans. Their monolingual peers are too frightened to talk to an obvious “gringo” who they probably assume can’t speak Spanish.
I also think a lot of the tension that we see over gentrification likely rises from this divide. If you rarely or never interact with a foreigner, it’s pretty easy to see them as the “other.”
I love your last paragraph! Yes, hang out with non English speaking people, you will then understand why the majority of Mexicans loved AMLO and now Claudia. It’s not the wealthy Mexicans who support the government and you will usually hear them trash AMLO and Claudia. The entitled Mexicans are sore of losing their status and priviledges, and the democratization that is taking process.
I learned my Spanish through high school and college… but I didn’t learn to USE my Spanish until I was a kindergarten teacher in a Mexican-Yaqui neighborhood. One cannot learn to speak Spanish unless they try to speak it and I found that no matter where I was or who I was with, there was always gentle assistance from my friends. Now, we take groups of teachers to Querétaro for 2 weeks of language immersion. The first lesson: use your Spanish. Make the mistakes. But use it. It’s a beautiful language and useful throughout the world.
Your last paragraph is the most important one thank you
No question about it. A Spanish only speaking partner will accelerate one’s own ability quickly.
Sarah, this is literally the 1st article I’ve read in MND, having just signed up yesterday. But, Already I having my doubts. I read your article with great interest, since it’s on a topic I’m interested in. However, I’m a little put off by your positioning. What is a “whitexican”? What is it about the 70% who actually think Claudia is doing a good job? I noticed your use of “privilege” a couple of times. As well as other suggestions. Do you always weave politics into you articles, where it doesn’t belong, or is MND just another lefty American publication? I’m sure I will figure this out very soon.
Thanks for subscribing! If you’re interested in reading about Mexico’s social fabric, you can read the article ‘What is a Whitexican, and what do they say about Mexico?’ and ‘Made in Mexico taught me everything I needed to know about Whitexicans.’
Another excellent piece, Sarah!
It’s interesting when two people speak to one another and they both speak a moderate amount of the other´s language: A dual can take place, each person trying to move the conversation into the language that’s not their own. When I find myself doing that, I rationalize it by thinking I need to practice my Spanish more than the other person needs to practice their English–but I’m probably wrong sometimes.