For the umpeenth time this week, I’m at La Cabra Illuminada in San Miguel de Allende, enjoying a creamy piccolo and a hefty plate of enchiladas verdes stuffed with vegan pea cheese and zucchini and crowned with tiny sprigs of verdolaga, when a retired American couple eagerly saddles up next to me, waiting for the right moment to spark up a conversation. As usual, there is no such thing — I’ve got two hours before the kids are out of camp, I’m the breadwinner for my family of five and I’m working.
But there, sitting in silent awe of the weeping fig tree that’s been allowed to keep sprouting skyward in the very center of the café, thanks to Mexico’s signature green architecture, I do something I don’t usually do; I lean into the conversation. And when I surrender, I learn they’re in their late 60s, having just sold the majority of their belongings in order to complete an itinerary-less cross-country U.S. trip in a van. They’re currently splitting their time between Puerto Vallarta, California and, they hope soon, San Miguel de Allende.
I applaud their strong commitment to speaking Spanish and instantly recognize their post-COVID-19 journey as the mirror image of so many like it: sick of the cold and itching for adventure in their golden empty-nester chapter.
“I’ve got to ask,” says the wife once she senses we’ve built enough of a friendly rapport, “what should we be tipping?”
I shut my laptop. I have a lot of thoughts about this. In September 2020 — during the late-stage COVID pandemic days — my business partners and I led a movement to eliminate tipping in restaurants (including in our own, where we implemented what we called Flat30).
We were early adopters with a radical-socialist-y philosophy, determined to push our customers and industry beyond a “minimum wage” mentality into the more complex reality of a livable wage, healthcare access and a sustainable labor model that offered a win-win for all. Wouldn’t it be nice if the price listed on the menu simply included everything you needed to pay — plus the peace of mind that the people serving you could truly afford their rent and groceries?
Nearly five years later and just a few days before meeting this lovely couple, I found myself grappling with another conundrum entirely: Have I been overtipping in Mexico? While COVID-19 upended how many hospitality professionals — and guests — thought about the total compensation of U.S. restaurant workers, the idea of a livable wage in any sector in Mexico is still a castle in the sky for most servers, bartenders, dishwashers and bussers south of the border.
And as the antigentrification movement gains momentum in Mexico City, those of us living on the other side of the Rio Grande could stand to more honestly examine how our behavior could be harming our neighbors, beyond willingly overpaying for housing and complaining in online forums about the daily fluctuations of the dollar-to-peso exchange rates.
According to data provided by Mexico’s 2019 Economic Census, food services here drive an 855 billion peso industry. Even more sobering is the distribution of these restaurants, with nearly 700,000 eateries employing 0–10 staff, while the categories of 11–50 and 51–100 employees demonstrate starkly lower numbers: 24,000 and 1,500 establishments, respectively.
As a former restaurateur, this tells me that the overwhelming majority of Mexico’s dining operations consist of mom-and-pops. Labor statistics claim to monitor “average earnings,” but it’s reasonable to assume most people are making significantly less.
For reference, the average monthly salary for restaurant workers in 2024 was reported to be around 9,000 pesos (US $470). Figures provided by the crowdsourced database Livingcost set monthly median spending for a family of four at 61,000 pesos(US $3,261), which, if these estimates are accurate, would leave most restaurant workers beyond priced out of a family dwelling in their hometown.
Now, let’s assume you live in Mexico, or visit often, but that you’re not considering any of the nitty-gritty economic statistics or the glaring social inequities when thinking about tipping. You’re likely of one of two minds: the first being that your income streams are in U.S. dollars and so it is your responsibility to leave generous gratuities wherever you go. The second assumes that you should neither overtip nor undertip and that you certainly don’t ever want to feel you’re being taken advantage of by being forced to pay a “gringo tax” for eating out.
Here’s my take: Given that I spent nearly three decades in hospitality — working grueling hours on my feet, scrubbing dirty towels and dishes, plunging toilets, somehow enduring the dreaded “triple-double” shifts and doing it all with a forced smile — I spent my first four years in Mexico in the former camp. Now add to that empathy the gratitude I feel when anyone has to pick up after my twin toddlers and their age-appropriate penchant for hurling bits of whatever’s in front of them to the ground.
I was, admittedly, a chronic overtipper.
But, recently, a local mompreneur gave me something to chew on.
“Stop tipping so much,” she wrote in all caps in our mixed-race San Miguel Social Moms group chat; yes, in all caps. She went on to explain that the well-meaning percentages that foreigners have been repeatedly tipping — above the socially accepted national standard of 10% and the above-and-beyond the norm for exceptional service of 15% — were not only catalyzing a domino effect of poor treatment of Mexican clientele by staff but also creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of servers conjecturing that Mexican customers wouldn’t tip “well.” The Mexicans, in turn, were expecting poor service even before it was delivered.
So where does this leave us? Is it acceptable to tip above 15% if you’ve had the best experience in your recent memory? Absolutely. But do you need to try to prove something noble to an invisible morality police every time someone cooks you a meal and delivers you a check for it? I think that’s up for debate.
If you want to be less of a colonizing presence and more of a mutual aid to your Mexican neighbors, do as I say, not as I do. The famous adage “vote with your dollar,” comes to mind, as does the TED Talk by the effervescently brilliant writer Taiye Selasi: “Don’t ask me where I’m from, ask where I’m a local.”
I think this is what my new couple friends were yearning to become.
To my fellow “locals,” next time someone provides you a service, whether it be at a restaurant or elsewhere, pause before you pull out your wallet. Rather than asking, “What should I be tipping?” it may be more compassionate to weigh a few alternative queries: “Why am I tipping this amount? Who benefits and who could potentially be damaged or displaced by my spending election?”
Whatever you decide, it’s ultimately a self-inquiry worthy of our discomfort, especially at a time when gentrification in Mexico is inching towards a tipping point of its own.
Simone Jacobson is a Burmese American former Top 10 in America restaurant owner, cultural connector, toddler twin mama and writer based in San Miguel de Allende. By day, she is the Content Director for Well Spirit Collective. In all other moments, she strives to raise compassionate children who never lose their curiosity, tenderness and radiant light. Read more by Simone here.
What a thought-provoking essay. I will tell you right now that I dislike tipping. Workers should make enough to live on without any added gratuity.
But I realize that’s not the case. We get a lot of food and pharmacy deliveries at my house, and I usually tip 15% because I know times are hard and I am resisting my admitted stinginess.
I’m an obvious gringa and my husband is Mexican. He is much more generous than I am in all kinds of ways. He always tips at least 20%, if not more. I hope that service workers perceive him as what he is: a wonderfully generous, if slightly Americanized, Mexican. We also live in a neighborhood with few to no other US people, so one hopes our tipping practices are doing more good than harm 🤞🏻
To further add to this fascinating subject is the fact that we’ve been told by Mexican friends in the food service business is that some nationalities do not tip at all.
Oh dear
Mr MAGOO
I have visited many countries where tipping is not part of their culture. When those folks travel, they feel awkward when faced with this conundrum.
Here in Puerto Vallarta… restaurant in the beach literally ! DEMAND 20% tip ! – they will actually bring a bill with 20% tip already on the bill ! – i have never seen anything like this !
Especially in Zona Romantica, we have gotten some tight cringes from servers when we leave 10%, which we do every time we eat out in Tuito.
( correction : restaurants … all of them ! )
My Mexican girlfriend and I had this conversation recently with some other Mexicans. They explained that tipping is different around Mexico, with some cities averaging higher for the expected propina.
Many places in Lake Chapala area already have this tip system in their credit card machines like up north with 10 15 20 % or or other amount. So they have caught on to what happening in Canada and the US where 20% is often expected. So of course some us act like we do up north. I for one have my favorite small restaurants and my favorite waiters and will continue to tip 15 to 20 %. I have enough knowledge of their costs of living with children and rents constantly rising. In the 1990’s I travelled to Australia where they didn’t tip much if at all but the bartenders and waitresses got more than twice what a similar person got in Canada. That isn’t happening in Mexico!!!
There will be many more expats from other countries coming to Mexico for the weather, cost of living and loving the Mexican style of life… Like reminding us that family is so important and I think more so that the lives we lead in the US or Canada. With all the warts and differences we get used to its a millions times better than what the US offers. Canada is slowly sinking with them.
I understand that tipping was introduced and reinforced in Mexico over the years by tourists, mostly from the U.S. and Canada.
In the UK and Western Europe, a few coins left on the restaurant table from change would be unexpected but welcomed.
A Tip originally meant To Insure (assure) Promptness for exceptional service and meeting special requests.
“Poor Mexicans, they deserve more” : is being too generous a kind of paternalism ? Maybe.
If there is a choice between showing generous appreciation to the human serving me or trying to help ensure that other people receive the service they desire, I’ll go with blessing the server.
Yes!
Do chronic over-tippers also cheerfully pay double the standard price for their avocados, tortillas, and coffee? Where do they draw the line?
I always thought it was best to assimilate into the culture of the host country one’s living in, e.g. learn the language, tip the standard amount (or none if it’s not a tipping culture), mirror their behavior, dress appropriately, etc., as long as it’s not cruel or exploitative practice.
If we’re “catalyzing a domino effect of poor treatment of Mexican clientele by staff” that seems like a pretty negative effect of chronic over-tipping. Plus, a 10% tip on your restaurant tab is actually closer to a 12% tip, since no sane person tips on government taxes, which are included in the total.
Sadly, I know from local restauranteurs that most small establishments do not pay into Mx social security and health insurance. And upon severance, deny finiquitos.
I try to focus our patronage on those who follow the law, but most servers are too afraid of retribution that I no longer ask.
Hmmm… I question your definition of a “sane person.” You actually subtract the tax and then calculate your tip based on the remainder? Doesn’t sound sane to me. You must really save a lot of money being sane like that.
Dawn, you got it right. Live and do as the locals do. It’s been my pleasure to see the locals appreciate the respect. I’ve lived in Mexico for 14 years. I’ve never been and expat as I’m an immigrant with permanent residence and I consider myself a local. Because I’m from there not from somewhere else.
Why is this even being discussed. I have traveled world-wide, much of it on business, for 50 years and tipped everywhere and in many strange curriencies. No one said “oh this is the norm”…..and who decides what is a “norm” anyway? What I have noticed in the Lake Chapala area is the cheapest tippers are the wealthy Tapitillos from Guadalajara who tip 10% (and figure it out at the table) for 132 Pesos. Local Mexicans here at sit down restaurants are generally 15% in my observation so go figure. I like overtipping because I want to be remembered for next time. “The Mexicans get ignored” is such horse pitooey….they tip poorly and the server depends on tips for a living. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!
What a revelation….tip what you want. Can’t we find something more germane?????????
I don’t like the bleeding hearts, guilty tippers. They even leave tips when the service is awful. Shame of them.
I am partner in 4 upscale restaurants in a fashionable Midwest city. I believe in paying a living wage and advertise on the menu that the price includes waiters who make a living wage. If a customer wants to leave more, that is their right.
When I go out to eat in Latin and South America, I leave the traditional 10% tip even if it is printed on the check. If so, no other tip is needed. If I eat out in the USA, I normally will leave a and if I receive a which includes a 15% tip. If I receive a check which includes a tip, I call the waiter over and tell him/her, that They must print up a new check which makes no mention of a tip. If they refuse, I will pay in cash and leave NO tip. A tip is for good service, not to subsidize the irresponsible behaviors of owners who will no pay a living wage.
Then there is the question of whether and how much to tip tour guides or similar services. I often struggle with this, but my first question is whether the service provider is the owner of service. If not, I usually tip, with the amount depending on the quality of the service. I am particularly interested in the archeology and history of Mexico and am reasonably knowledgeable in both areas. I value guides who are a very knowledgeable in these areas and think that knowledge and service should be compensated appropriately. (When with Mexicans on tours, I also pay attention to how they tip and make sure to at least do the same.)
My goodness it’s easy to want to be a good person but sometimes it’s darned hard to know how to do it. My personal thing is I try to tip well based on my past experience working as and being friends with many people who waited tables for a living. If somebody is busting their butt on a Sunday afternoon to make it possible for me to have a nice time, when they’d, I’m quite sure, rather be home with their family, an extra 5% seems to me like the very least they deserve. Earned.
Some of the arguments presented in this article are pretty head scratching. It doesn’t seem right to argue that, on the one hand, my presence here is causing people to be priced out of their homes and on the other hand, I can’t do the very least to make an actual worker’s life better. Yes, my presence contributes to the complex problem of gentrification and no, an extra tip won’t solve that. But waiters everywhere and always have counted on the generosity of those who can and do give extra. And the idea that my tipping above 10% causes the wait staff to mistreat their fellow Mexicans? Gimme a break. IF that happens (and I’m doubtful), that’s reprehensible behavior and the management should counsel the server who does it. It’s certainly not my fault or responsibility. (That particular argument smacks of someone looking for any excuse to justify their stinginess.) My responsibility is to be as kind and respectful as I can be and support the community I’m living in any way I can. That kind of resolves the dilemma for me.
Interesting comments- as a freelance tour guide in Zurich Switzerland following observations:
1. Labour law & enforcement -> Here in Switzerland, if you are an employee service is included in the bill e.g. at restaurants. The fact that many US and Mexican restaurants pay very low salaries- then have the cheek to add 15% service fees, which they typically don’t pass on to their employees is ABUSIVE and the government should enforce appropriate measures to make sure waiters earn a fair salary and extra tipping really is for excellent service
2. Tipping in Mexico: if a restaurant is a small business and the service is good, I give 15% – if excellent 20%. In a chain restaurant where salaries are low, the same if this is not included in the bill.
My mexican relatives find I overtip, so sometimes add a backhander for services on departure e.g. for a boat rental with a local fisherman or a great tour guide.
3. Working as a freelance tour guide, I try to give my small groups exceptional insights and great cultural background.
Those that really appreciate it and have the means sometimes tip 25-30%.
These are typically Americans, sometimes Mexicans, who don’t speak good English.
The worst clients are rich and selfish people who had me wait outside shops, didn’t listen to explanations and were very self indulgent. As my father-in-law used to say: falta educación-> manners & appreciate is lacking 😉
As the writer mentions: you need to assess the service situation and your personal experience – then decide what to leave on the table. Otherwise tipping becomes just a service tax.
Consider this before you ask for the bill – or say goodbye to your guide 😁
There is no such thing as mixed race. We are all one race – human. Maybe mixed language, mixed nationality, but definitely not mixed race.
I understand all sides of this debate, the preferential care given to those assumed to be big tippers, the exploitation of gentrification, all that.
But in a country as relationship oriented as Mexico is, my immediate relationship is with the server/provider. I will always be generous to them if l am treated properly.
❤️🇲🇽❤️
“Over tipping ” can make the difference between beans, rice and tortillas for a meal or adding a pizza or rotisserie chicken to the table. Plus the smiles it puts on servers faces is worth it!