For the umpeenth time this week, I’m at La Cabra Illuminada in San Miguel de Allende, enjoying a creamy piccolo and a hefty plate of enchiladas verdes stuffed with vegan pea cheese and zucchini and crowned with tiny sprigs of verdolaga, when a retired American couple eagerly saddles up next to me, waiting for the right moment to spark up a conversation. As usual, there is no such thing — I’ve got two hours before the kids are out of camp, I’m the breadwinner for my family of five and I’m working.
But there, sitting in silent awe of the weeping fig tree that’s been allowed to keep sprouting skyward in the very center of the café, thanks to Mexico’s signature green architecture, I do something I don’t usually do; I lean into the conversation. And when I surrender, I learn they’re in their late 60s, having just sold the majority of their belongings in order to complete an itinerary-less cross-country U.S. trip in a van. They’re currently splitting their time between Puerto Vallarta, California and, they hope soon, San Miguel de Allende.
I applaud their strong commitment to speaking Spanish and instantly recognize their post-COVID-19 journey as the mirror image of so many like it: sick of the cold and itching for adventure in their golden empty-nester chapter.
“I’ve got to ask,” says the wife once she senses we’ve built enough of a friendly rapport, “what should we be tipping?”
I shut my laptop. I have a lot of thoughts about this. In September 2020 — during the late-stage COVID pandemic days — my business partners and I led a movement to eliminate tipping in restaurants (including in our own, where we implemented what we called Flat30).
We were early adopters with a radical-socialist-y philosophy, determined to push our customers and industry beyond a “minimum wage” mentality into the more complex reality of a livable wage, healthcare access and a sustainable labor model that offered a win-win for all. Wouldn’t it be nice if the price listed on the menu simply included everything you needed to pay — plus the peace of mind that the people serving you could truly afford their rent and groceries?
Nearly five years later and just a few days before meeting this lovely couple, I found myself grappling with another conundrum entirely: Have I been overtipping in Mexico? While COVID-19 upended how many hospitality professionals — and guests — thought about the total compensation of U.S. restaurant workers, the idea of a livable wage in any sector in Mexico is still a castle in the sky for most servers, bartenders, dishwashers and bussers south of the border.
And as the antigentrification movement gains momentum in Mexico City, those of us living on the other side of the Rio Grande could stand to more honestly examine how our behavior could be harming our neighbors, beyond willingly overpaying for housing and complaining in online forums about the daily fluctuations of the dollar-to-peso exchange rates.
According to data provided by Mexico’s 2019 Economic Census, food services here drive an 855 billion peso industry. Even more sobering is the distribution of these restaurants, with nearly 700,000 eateries employing 0–10 staff, while the categories of 11–50 and 51–100 employees demonstrate starkly lower numbers: 24,000 and 1,500 establishments, respectively.
As a former restaurateur, this tells me that the overwhelming majority of Mexico’s dining operations consist of mom-and-pops. Labor statistics claim to monitor “average earnings,” but it’s reasonable to assume most people are making significantly less.
For reference, the average monthly salary for restaurant workers in 2024 was reported to be around 9,000 pesos (US $470). Figures provided by the crowdsourced database Livingcost set monthly median spending for a family of four at 61,000 pesos(US $3,261), which, if these estimates are accurate, would leave most restaurant workers beyond priced out of a family dwelling in their hometown.
Now, let’s assume you live in Mexico, or visit often, but that you’re not considering any of the nitty-gritty economic statistics or the glaring social inequities when thinking about tipping. You’re likely of one of two minds: the first being that your income streams are in U.S. dollars and so it is your responsibility to leave generous gratuities wherever you go. The second assumes that you should neither overtip nor undertip and that you certainly don’t ever want to feel you’re being taken advantage of by being forced to pay a “gringo tax” for eating out.
Here’s my take: Given that I spent nearly three decades in hospitality — working grueling hours on my feet, scrubbing dirty towels and dishes, plunging toilets, somehow enduring the dreaded “triple-double” shifts and doing it all with a forced smile — I spent my first four years in Mexico in the former camp. Now add to that empathy the gratitude I feel when anyone has to pick up after my twin toddlers and their age-appropriate penchant for hurling bits of whatever’s in front of them to the ground.
I was, admittedly, a chronic overtipper.
But, recently, a local mompreneur gave me something to chew on.
“Stop tipping so much,” she wrote in all caps in our mixed-race San Miguel Social Moms group chat; yes, in all caps. She went on to explain that the well-meaning percentages that foreigners have been repeatedly tipping — above the socially accepted national standard of 10% and the above-and-beyond the norm for exceptional service of 15% — were not only catalyzing a domino effect of poor treatment of Mexican clientele by staff but also creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of servers conjecturing that Mexican customers wouldn’t tip “well.” The Mexicans, in turn, were expecting poor service even before it was delivered.
So where does this leave us? Is it acceptable to tip above 15% if you’ve had the best experience in your recent memory? Absolutely. But do you need to try to prove something noble to an invisible morality police every time someone cooks you a meal and delivers you a check for it? I think that’s up for debate.
If you want to be less of a colonizing presence and more of a mutual aid to your Mexican neighbors, do as I say, not as I do. The famous adage “vote with your dollar,” comes to mind, as does the TED Talk by the effervescently brilliant writer Taiye Selasi: “Don’t ask me where I’m from, ask where I’m a local.”
I think this is what my new couple friends were yearning to become.
To my fellow “locals,” next time someone provides you a service, whether it be at a restaurant or elsewhere, pause before you pull out your wallet. Rather than asking, “What should I be tipping?” it may be more compassionate to weigh a few alternative queries: “Why am I tipping this amount? Who benefits and who could potentially be damaged or displaced by my spending election?”
Whatever you decide, it’s ultimately a self-inquiry worthy of our discomfort, especially at a time when gentrification in Mexico is inching towards a tipping point of its own.
Simone Jacobson is a Burmese American former Top 10 in America restaurant owner, cultural connector, toddler twin mama and writer based in San Miguel de Allende. By day, she is the Content Director for Well Spirit Collective. In all other moments, she strives to raise compassionate children who never lose their curiosity, tenderness and radiant light. Read more by Simone here.
10% should be the maximum, which we usually do automatically. But anything beyond beyond that brings the wrath of our Mexican friends and relatives.
I tip 20% to food delivery drivers because it is a dangerous gig, and it is usually a second (or even third) job for many of them.
I completely understand and support this. Sometimes I tip 50-100%, it is all circumstantial. The point isn’t to stop being generous or kind, but rather to be inquisitive, aware, and thoughtful about our choices ☺️
Where do you get the idea that it is a dangerous job. Why do you assume it is the second or third job. That is gentrification
After reading this I have just one question: What should we be tipping?
Me too.
My understanding is that the norm is 10%, with 15% for exemplary service.
I tip 10-20%.
10% = mediocre service
15% = good service
20% = great
I like to put money into other people’s pockets when they deserve / work for it. If it helps them to help their families…even better.
I’ve been involved with Mexico for over 40 years. I’m into my second stint of living here full time. I’m married to a Mexican woman and she agrees with this approach. Plus the well tipped people seem genuinely happy to receive the extra amount.
I could care less what expat gringos think or rationalize. If you can afford it, share your wealth who are less fortunate. It’s compassion.
I concur with you 110% and I do the same!
But you just said (above) that 10% is the norm. So which is it? I’ve lived here four years and am still genuinely confused.
Well said Billy Bob!
I agree.
I 100% agree with this approach, with one footnote: Though the “should” in your reply definitely aligns with my understanding of cultural norms (my husband is also Mexican 🇲🇽🥰), what I was hoping we would all grapple with a bit is being mindful that tipping too much is not inherently “bad,” but rather MAY have an unwanted after-effect, especially in places many foreigners go, of Mexicans feeling unable to match the 15-20% and above as the norm, just as knowingly overpaying for rent could do. Thanks for adding your thoughts!
You’re missing the whole point of gentrification
💯
Simone, I’d be interested in what you mean by “Foreigners…often knowingly overpay for homes, food, services, etc.”? I live in a lovely (but not fancy) casa in a predominantly Mexican neighborhood, and pay what I think is a very fair rent. For reference, I’m originally from New York City, where a shoebox studio apartment might easily cost $3,000/mo. or more. But if that’s where you want to live, you have no choice but to “overpay.” It’s not as if you’re going to talk the landlord down on the price, because someone else WILL rent it for that. Same here. So short of moving to the campo and living in a concrete hovel out of solidarity, what are the options? Landlords (and restaurants) charge what the market will bear (and though I don’t own a house, sellers do the same). What do you suggest as a viable alternative?
It’s a personal decision in my opinion. I tip on the high side because I believe these hardworking folks deserve it. You have to figure that if the “norm” is 10%, probably a good number tip less than that, and some not at all. I have also never experienced such poor service in Mexico that did not deserve at least 15%, especially when compared to the service I have received in many places in the U.S., where the “norm” starts at 15%.
I agree and do the same (15% being my baseline), but Simone (and others I’ve talked to about this) seem to have a differing opinion, though in Simone’s case she was kind of vague in the end, which only added to the confusion. Gracias.
You make a lot of un fact checked assumptions here
I’m not an economics expert, but I’d say one key indicator is the Mexican-foreigner ratio in your neighborhood. If your neighborhood or residential has no or few Mexicans, I would consider that a strong indicator that it is not affordable for locals, even middle class ones. Since moving to Mexico, even before marrying a Mexican and birthing here, I always paid attention to the demographics of my surroundings and have intentionally only lived in predominantly Mexican neighborhoods. Of course, the other easy thing to do is just ask a realtor for housing. For other services (like babysitting, for example, which having toddler twins has proven crucial) it’s been helpful for me to “poll” Mexicans in a similar position to me — moms — and then I usually willingly pay above market. As I mentioned in the article, I previously implemented the Flat30 model and my dishwasher (lowest paid employee) made a base rate of $25/hour plus “bonus” from the Flat30 model and healthcare, which is highly unusual. So I think the key here is awareness. Are we examining our privilege and making decisions based on a larger picture, or just our own convictions?
… 10-12% is what I normally tip… depending on the change in hand. Hopefully tipping does not get out of hand as it has in Canada; where just about every POS terminal shows a tip starting at 18%… they’re sneaky too, they bring the POS machine to the table, where others are present, so due to social conditoning you get guilt-triped into adding more than you might otherwise.. and of course the tip is added after tax is added… so you tip the taxes too.
Having been in the (tipping) hospitality business and a landlord all of my working life this presents an interesting dilemma. For one…. had I not received very generous tips … at that time 10% was the norm, I would have never been able to become a landlord.
The hospitality industry has never really offered a “living wage” even at management levels. I made more money than my GM with less hours and less stress.
As a landlord I kept rents at “market rates” when new openings came available and kept rents down for long term tenants. It was a win win. I had tenants for 10+ years saving us BOTH money and forging great relationships .
Hospitality workers in Mexico are not paid hourly…. but a “day rate”… that day may be 10-12 hour shifts and often a 6 day work week. I will continue to tip as I see fit ..20%. If I can make one person’s day a little better then it makes my day great.
That little extra tip might mean putting a rotisserie chicken or a pizza on the table instead of just rice, beans and tortillas . Viva Mexico y vaya con Dios 💕🇲🇽💕
That’s awesome!
10% is norm. Yet , I tip 15% because of inflation. More than 15% is a sign of wealth.
I am proud to often be one of those people whom other expats accuse of “ruining it for the rest of us”, by overpaying the people that help me, often radically, and overtipping the ones that consistently treat me well at restaurants. No Mexican has ever suggested that I am thereby pushing them down on the treatment ladder. I am not wealthy, but I live very simply. I have a modest home in a Mexican neighborhood. No golf cart, no CanAm or Polaris for tearing around the desert, a well maintained older and completely beat to hell Toyota truck. I don’t golf or go to the gringo bars or restaurants ever, much less every night. So I am free to pay my single-mother [and her two hard working daughters] about 30 dollars an hour if I want. And to tip my garbage collectors well around Christmas and with cold beers right now. In return, I get a warm rosy feeling and some genuine friends who are also social friends, and the knowledge that I am truly making a difference in some lives. And I am part of a community that does not exploit me but is genuinely happy to see me around town. I am not sorry for the gringos here who tell me that I am contributing to the increased cost of living for them, behind the walls of their gated lily-white communities. That gives me the warm rosy feeling also.
💕💕💕💕
Hmmm, quite a bit to consider. But I particularly enjoyed the comments. I will admit to being an over tipper for the same reasons, Billy-Bob eloquently stated. But am I doing the “right” thing? Being in the hospitality industry and trying to please the customers and the staff, I will say our staff don’t want automatic gratuity added in to the menu prices. The restaurants that have done this have generally not been well received by the guests, because too often they are paying higher prices and service is not as good because servers have gratuity baked in. Staff doesn’t like it because often guests would have tipped more (for exceptional service).
Most of the restaurants, if not all have returned to the “normal” way.
So where does this leave us in our beautiful Mexico?
I think it’s still “to be determined.” Even in the US, our Flat30 model was novel and radical. You might be surprised to know that everyone, customers and staff, loved it. I think ultimately what we all want is for all workers to make a livable, not a minimum, wage. I don’t have the power to grant that, but we could see models that inch towards that goal popping up in the future.
Very interesting comments. I fall in the high tipper category and always pay a helper handsomely. I’m so pathetic on my recent trip to California I brought back more than four hundred dollars of clothes for our neighbors kids. Mi vida es bien chido 😌
This year alone I have: paid for my children’s nanny to have a costly 2-night hotel stay, given our house helpers raises and bonuses far beyond market rate, and overtipped often. What some may consider (and I respect) “vague” here is me inviting us all to consider multiple perspectives, without preaching one way as “best.” So I say keep doing what is in your heart, and also bringing clothes you can afford and someone else cannot, to me, is a beautiful form of mutual aid to be celebrated!
*hospital stay (not hotel!!)
And I always look at their handheld pos terminal to make sure they entered the correct amount. Many of them put down 20% regardless of what you tell them. One thing I don’t appreciate are sneaky people. So I try to pay in cash and don’t leave anything for bad service, or when they try to add menu items you didn’t order. That’s a thing now at many establishments. Good service 10-20 %. Bad service (Zero).
I worked as a waiter and I was never upset or concerned that someone left me too much of tip. I go to restaurants in San Miguel and there may be no other customers or maybe a few other customers. My meal might be 300 pesos. If I leave 30 pesos rather than 60 pesos, it just seems like a very challenging life. There is great income disparity in Mexico. To reduce the disparity, those with money need to figure out a way to get money to those with less money. If I have to tip less, suggest other options so that I can do my part to improve conditions in Mexico without drawing the scorn of locals. I actually asked the somewhat well paid workers the did repairs in the house I used to live in in San Miguel. When I asked them how much to tip they said the more the better-they didn’t see a problem with poor people getting more money.
The issue is not the workers per se, who often “pool” (share/divide) tips. It is the ripple effect to the treatment of non-foreign (Mexican) patrons I invite us all to consider. That being said, I’ve always been of the mind that when we tip in a broken system, at a macro level, we’re not moving the needle towards a system where hospitality workers and all workers are paid a living wage by their employers… but that’s a big, hairy topic. I think, as some have mentioned, your 1:1 relationships are where the most good can be done. Overpay your house cleaner. Overtip your regular driver or server. Pay for your neighbor’s daughter’s school trip. These meaningful intentional contributions to society are mutual aid, not just a one-time 30 vs 60 pesos conundrum. There are many ways to have a great impact locally, from volunteering to donating (money, time, or objects). When in doubt, ask locals, and heed their advice!
I believe in tipping generously for great service, modestly for adequate service, and nothing for poor service, whether I’m in Mexico or Texas. If we gringos are wearing out our welcome, maybe we should try sharing more of our USD, not less. The argument by middle class Mexicans that tipping servers somehow harms them (the middle class) seems like a gripe from supposed superiority that they believe they should wield over the working class.
Why don’t you ask the local waiter or waitress or taxi driver what they think about a 20% tip !!!
And you would get the same answer from any of them around the world
A quick survey of the comments here shows that gringo gentrification is thriving in the awarding of gratuities.
I fear some may have missed the point, as this was not a “tipping etiquette” guide (how much should I tip?) but an invitation to just consider — Could a choice I think I’m making to “help” someone, be “hurting” someone else? I understand it’s uncomfortable to look at ourselves, and I know I have been forced to re-examine many pre-held beliefs. Hopefully more will stop to consider the questions before racing for concrete answers ☺️🙏🏽
I think the difficulty many of us are having in understanding your message is our sense of whether we’re “helping” or “hurting” has to be based on some information. But how are we to acquire the information necessary to make an informed decision? If, for example, we’re tipping in our community, it’s easier, but when traveling or foreign tourism in general, it’s not possible. So that’s where guidelines are beneficial. I’ve actually been more aware of push back from expats who resent “over tipping” as affecting their cost of living.
The debate over the ‘right’ amount aside, it’s always appreciated to tip in cash when paying with plastic.
Yes! Tipping in cash is best for sure.
Over-tipping is an oxymoron. Not one restaurant I know of pays its staff a good salary. Those who can afford it may tip well without feeling guilty. The cheapskates who tip only ten percent are following a custom 15 years old, before the current inflation has made real wages lower than previously. And pay your maid and gardener a living wage. You will not regret it.
Would you consider that, as we and others in the US were beginning to implement in our own restaurants (see the link in article to “Flat30”) that perhaps the burden of raising the living wage is not on the customer, or the government, alone? Perhaps if more restaurant owners came together to tackle this question, especially since it seems many (me included!) would happily pay more to ensure hospitality workers are paid a livable wage as the standard, real change could happen beyond a 5-10-15% tipping point… I have been chatting with local owners and there’s some interest. Maybe in our lifetimes we can vote with our dollar in a meaningful, sustainable way that raises everyone’s bottom line and consciousness. I do still think it’s worthy of contemplation to ask ourselves if this altruistic perspective is (or isn’t) aligned with the cultural norms of our host country, where we are guests.
I am not wealthy, but I overtip in Mexico and in the US. For me it is a oh-so-modest way of redistributing a little money to those at the bottom of the economic ladder.
I wholeheartedly see and appreciate your perspective!
@Marty — To answer your question, “How are we to acquire the information necessary to make an informed decision?” I would say that the best pulse check is to have multiple conversations with Mexican nationals and locals wherever you travel. It is pretty widely understood that 10% = base minimum in Mexico for tipping, 15% = good service, and 20% or above = exceptional service or something special/above and beyond. I think most people in the US (I say from my lifetime in restaurants, 30 years just about) consider 20% as “standard,” anything less is an indicator something went wrong, and more than that to be generous. I didn’t have space here to get into it but I think the US, Mexican and many other similar models of compensation for restaurant workers are highly flawed. If it were up to me, a livable (not minimum) wage and health insurance would be required. Since that’s not yet a nationwide possibility, I suggest tipping is just ONE way we can support local businesses and their employees. Another is to advocate for lasting structural change, which I’m inclined and inspired to do with local entrepreneurs here in San Miguel, as my restaurant was leading this charge in DC before the pandemic… I wonder if foreigners will balk or applaud this. Time will tell!