Is Mexico a good place for everybody? Sometimes I find myself wondering, “Do I really belong in Mexico?.” Loud music, crowds, nationalistic parades, and sunshine most days are not my thing. Unlike the Mexican indirect communication style, I much prefer to ir al grano (get to the point) and am usually in bed by 9:00 pm. Mexican food is ok, but I prefer Asian.
So how did an outlier like myself fall in love with Mexico?
A few months ago, I had an experience that answered my question. I was on my way to a friend’s home in Guanajuato, the UNESCO World Heritage site in central Mexico where my husband Barry and I live part of the year. Strolling along one of the city’s maze-like callejones (alleys), I passed several kids kicking a ball. It hit a corner next to me, and to my amazement, I kicked it back. They shrieked; I grinned. They weren’t expecting a woman the age of their abuelitas to play ball, a gringa no less. The ball bounced near me again. I kicked it hard, and we all raced after it, laughing. “Fun!” I thought. Divertido. Still laughing, I waved goodbye and headed on my way.
I don’t often find myself kicking balls around with kids like a goofy eight-year-old. That evening when I told my husband about it, Barry said, “You laugh more in Mexico. You’re lighter and friendlier.” After living in Guanajuato part-time for twenty years, I wonder if I’m, well, a nicer person. I’m certainly less argumentative and defensive. More playful.
Is it being around Mexicans, or is it Spanish? Studies suggest that speaking in another language brings out different qualities in a person. Novelist Isabel Allende thinks so: “I live in California — in English — but I can only write in Spanish. In fact, all the fundamental things in my life happen in Spanish, like scolding my grandchildren, cooking, and making love.”
I never thought learning a language would bring out dormant parts of me, but with Spanish, I get to be someone else for a change, instead of my same old English-language brand, the one I’ve been living with for so many years. Photos of myself as a kid show me laughing and being silly, but that gradually lessened as an adult. I enjoyed my work as a training consultant, but owning a business in Silicon Valley was highly competitive, and in order to succeed even moderately, I had to be focused and serious. I constantly worried about my persona and how I came across. While leading the seminars themselves was great fun, marketing my business was very stressful.
When I began learning Spanish in Mexico, something about the vocabulary and the sounds lightened my spirit. Spanish has certain words I love to use that I simply can’t express in English. Rincón literally means a corner, but it could be a nook, a niche, or a feature — like the altars of Guadalupe, Guanajuato’s patron saint, which turn up every so often on callejones. Or ojalá, a word of Arabic origin, meaning “if it be God’s will,” and more commonly, “hopefully.” I can’t imagine saying “if it be God’s will” in English.
As for the subjunctive, the Spanish learner’s curse, I now enjoy it so much that I seek opportunities to use it. The subjunctive expresses uncertainty, doubt, and the unknown. In English, I diligently trained myself to be the complete opposite: assertive, direct, and “certain-sure,” as we used to say as kids. Don’t mess with me; I am woman, hear me roar! But in Spanish, it’s a different story, a place where I willingly surrender to unpredictability and mystery.
I once asked a Spanish teacher if the subjunctive was used more by women than men. He was surprised by the question, but after considering it, said yes. I wasn’t surprised. Traditionally, women are conditioned to speak in a placating way, using an upward inclination at the end of a sentence and asking questions like “Could you…” “Would you mind if…” and “If it’s not too much trouble…” While my English-language self would run like hell from the uncertain subjunctive, my Spanish self courts it.
Meanwhile, the rhythm and sounds of Spanish are sheer music. When I hear Spanish vowels spilling out of me like a cascade, I feel lyrical, mellifluous. Other times I sound like a rolling train whose wheels clackety-clack on the tracks of Spanish consonants.
I’ll always be loyal to English. I love its richness, its Euclidean bluntness, its fusion of Germanic and Latin. English is the language of my birth, my family, my roots. But I have space in my heart for more than one language, and Mexican Spanish is the gift that transports me not just to new worlds, but to a new self.
Louisa Rogers and her husband Barry Evans divide their lives between Guanajuato and Eureka, on California’s North Coast. Louisa writes articles and essays about expat life, Mexico, travel, physical and psychological health, retirement and spirituality. Her recent articles are on her website, https://authory.com/LouisaRogers
Hi Louisa, Eureka is a cool spot in Northern California. I’m in LA and the Guadalajara airport a lot.
You have good articles on your web page.
…..and, from Acapulco,….Excellent Journalism….Mil gracias!
Thank you so much! Yes, J feel very fortunate to have two homes & essentially two lives!
Thank you!
Love this article, thank you. I was nodding my head the entire way through it. I feel most at home when I’m speaking Mexican Spanish with Mexicans. I’m in the US but making my way to GTO in August for a re-scouting trip to see if I want to move back there next year. (I lived there back in 2011.) The language, the people, the mountains, all of it, certainly make me a better person. Thanks again. Love your writing. 🙂
Thank you, Emma, if you are Emma! And if you do relocate to GTO, let me know and we can meet in person!
So good to read this! In my travels to Mexico, I’ve encountered too many English-speaking immigrants who don’t seem interested in learning Spanish. They don’t know what they’re missing! My wife says I’m a different person when I’m there speaking Spanish with the locals. I’m normally quiet and reserved in social settings. But when in Mexico, she says I “become a social butterfly.” 😀
Ha ha! I’m not quiet in English, either, but I’m definitely lighter spirited in Spanish!
Hi Luisa, thank you for a very good and accurate article, I feel the same way as you when I’m in Mexico. As you may know, the Spanish language has more than 70% of its roots from Latin, around 10% from Greek and the rest is from other languages such as Arabic (from the Arabs being in Spain for 700 years). Both English and Spanish are great languages, but different in special ways. Vive la difference!
Hi Isabel,
I didn’t know that 10% of Spanish comes from the Greek! What words, for example?
Problema
Arteria, geranio, comedia, teatro, obispo, iglesia, cadera, camaleon, platano, Cristo, etc.
Richard and Isabel– I had no idea!
I would read Louisa every day…awesome writer!
thx
I’m honored! Do you live in Mexico?
jfulmer, I’m flattered. Thank you!
This article resonated with me too. We lived in Cuernavaca and a small village NW of Cuernavaca for 10 years and still have the house I designed and built in Ahuatenco. I am a different person in Mexico – I’m told I’m 80% fluent in Spanish (how do they figure that?) and I am happiest speaking it! I feel differently and much happier when I’m there, even with the power going out once a day and crazy traffic, etc. I’m getting ready to lead a tour of Mexico City art museums in September and I can’t wait to get back where I’m happiest. I feel differently when I’m speaking Spanish – we live in Atlanta and there are a lot of Spanish speakers here and I get so happy when I’m in a store and someone is speaking it and I can chime in and surprise them! I’ve travelled in Spain and Costa Rica, but when I’m in Mexico I feel like I’m home. I’ll be looking at your website – thank you for writing this!
I know what you mean about surprising people with Spanish. I met a woman on the California coastal trail last week and we ended up chatting away in Spanish for half an hour. Hey, your museum tour sounds fun!
Great article Louisa. I have seen first hand how learning and speaking Spanish has changed my personality – and in a good way I think! 🙂
Thanks Travis! And you were exposed to Spanish at a young age, as I recall! By the way, you may know my former colleague and friend Susan Page, who directs the SM Writers Conference. I’ve given workshops there many times but not in 2025, unfortunately.
Oh, Louisa, how marvelously you’ve captured the essence of Mexico, and especially through the Spanish language. What delighted me most was your mention of the subjunctive! No one ever talks about it except in the “pejorative tense”: ‘it’s so difficult’, ‘why is it used at all?’, ‘I’m glad it’s withered into a few weird phrases in English’, etc.
But, like you, I’m delighted and enchanted by it, and for exactly the reasons you mention. At bottom, it recognizes- almost pays homage to- the capriciousness, mysteries, unknowns and unknowables in existence. A state of mind abhorred and feared in northern cultures.
But now I have your blog, and can replace some of my linear concrete daily readings that “make sense”. Ha!
Bob Dailey
Thanks! Do you like living in Cuernavaca?
“Meanwhile, the rhythm and sounds of Spanish are sheer music. When I hear Spanish vowels spilling out of me like a cascade, I feel lyrical, mellifluous. Other times I sound like a rolling train whose wheels clackety-clack on the tracks of Spanish consonants.
I’ll always be loyal to English. I love its richness, its Euclidean bluntness, its fusion of Germanic and Latin. English is the language of my birth, my family, my roots. But I have space in my heart for more than one language, and Mexican Spanish is the gift that transports me not just to new worlds, but to a new self.”
These are beautifully written paragraphs in and about English! As to Spanish, it is indeed a beautiful language and began to come to me as a gift from two Mexican farm workers in California (Marcelo Pérez and David Escobedo) when I was 13 years old. Along with additional boosts from a beautiful young high school Spanish teacher (Ofelia Montoya) and a life long “compadre” (Enrique Ramos) teaching Spanish became my profession and loving it has lasted a lifetime.
Viva México!–y Vivan los mexicanos!!
Hi Boontay,
I’ve also thought of teaching Spanish, but my accent isn’t great (lamentablemente).
Louisa