“MEXICO CITY — In a ceremony at Estadio Azteca, where Mexico will open the 2026 World Cup as co-host, FIFA announced Thursday that former U.S. President Donald Trump has been preemptively awarded the tournament’s Golden Boot, months before a single ball is kicked. Officials praised his “historic talent for kicking down international norms, which is basically the same as kicking a ball, but bigger.””
El Jalapeño
Fresh off winning the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize, U.S. President Trump has been awarded a fresh honor by World Cup organizers.
El Jalapeño: Trump clarifies he only knows drug lords’ addresses to send Christmas gifts and flowers
Our satirical news outlet looks at another story that didn’t happen this week.
Our satirical news service takes a look at the headlines that didn’t happen this week, starting with Puerto Vallarta’s famous pirate ship
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