All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news. Check out the original article here.
MEXICO CITY — Coca-Cola México marked its centennial anniversary Thursday with a gala ceremony in the capital, during which executives outlined an ambitious strategic vision for the company’s second century: finishing the job.
“We are proud of what we have achieved,” chief executive Ricardo Valdés told attendees, gesturing toward a slide that showed Mexico’s per-capita Coca-Cola consumption as the highest in the world. “But when we look at that remaining 13%, we don’t see a ceiling. We see an opportunity.”
The announcement was met with sustained applause from bottling partners, retail executives and several government officials who had accepted complimentary VIP seating and did not appear to see a conflict of interest.
The 100% consumption target, which the company described as “ambitious but achievable,” will be pursued through a multi-pronged strategy including expanded rural distribution, new smaller bottle formats designed for infants and a nationwide awareness campaign reminding Mexicans that water, while technically available, lacks the taste profile of Coca-Cola.
Nutritionists were not contacted for comment.
In the indigenous highlands of Chiapas, where Coca-Cola already functions as a de facto ceremonial beverage in some communities, local distributors confirmed they had received the new targets and considered them “essentially already met.”
President Sheinbaum, asked about the announcement at her morning press conference, noted that her government supports responsible corporate investment in Mexico, took a sip of Coke from a glass on her podium, and moved on.
Check out our Jalapeño archive here.
Got an idea for a Jalapeño article? Email us with your suggestions!
