I have a local (Mexican) friend with whom I simply cannot go to restaurants anymore.
Why?
Because I get all worked up about how she treats waiters.
I can’t help it. First, I don’t think she behaves nicely and appreciateively enough toward them. She might mutter a disinterested “gracias” when they bring her order, but she’s quick with an eye roll if she thinks they’ve made a mistake or taken too long.
She also thinks that tips are optional (I’ve noticed that the higher up the economic ladder one goes here, the more prevalent this belief is). I completely disagree, even when the service is sub-par. Working as a waiter is hard, even if you’re not great at it.
This probably has more to do with our different upbringings than much else. She grew up in a family that pretty much always had enough money for their needs and many of their wants. I grew up in a family whose income was much closer to those who depend on tips.
That said, my friend is not unique. My ears perked up terrier-style, for example, when I read Louisa Roger’s article on her experience leading customer service training. On common behavior: “I was pleasantly surprised when they said Americans and Canadians were pretty forgiving when their expectations weren’t met. In their experience, it was Mexicans and Italians who were more likely to get irritated.”
Well, color me not surprised. Or could it be that I just don’t know very many rich and entitled paisanos? Whatever it is, I’ve noticed it over the years: more Mexicans with plenty of money to spend than not seem to feel entitled to free service. If the service is phenomenal, they might leave 10%.
That doesn’t mean, of course, that we foreigners should overcompensate as a result. And it’s hard not to sometimes, I know.
We’re gushing with politeness and a broad willingness to help because we’re in love (with Mexico, possibly a Mexican, or both). Calm down.
Yes, it’s a fine line that we good-willed foreigners walk. On the one hand, there’s a sizable portion of Mexicans who believe that overexuberant generosity toward practical strangers makes you not a saint but an idiot. Things around here are corrupt enough, after all, that a certain cynicism can easily seep in.
This means that it can be easy for some to see us as Polyanna suckers who are practically begging to be taken advantage of. And I don’t know about you all, but that’s definitely not my own intention.
What should we do, then? I’ll admit that I’m guilty of sometimes overtipping. That said, I follow my partner’s lead on that, who’s spent much of his working life in restaurants. “I always try to leave at least enough for a taxi.” (In our city, mind you, 40-50 pesos is enough for a taxi; if you live in Los Cabos, I wouldn’t advise that as no one that earns a waiter’s salaries is taking taxis). Tips in restaurants, by the way, are nearly always split among the entire restaurant staff at the end of the night.
For further reading, check out Janet Blaser’s extensive article on how to tip in Mexico for a specific reference, too. I also have a history of fretting about our collective economic footprint. And of course, be sure to take notes on Bethany Platanella’s “Guilt payments and over-tipping” section of her “10 things gringos do that upset Mexicans” list!
Conclusion? Be cool. Be nice. But try to temper your savior complex. People aren’t as impressed as you think they are.
Sarah DeVries is a writer and translator based in Xalapa, Veracruz. She can be reached through her website, sarahedevries.substack.com.
I cannot recall where and when I learned olthat the older women & men “bagging” up my purchases at Chedraui, Soriana, heck even Walmart, were not paid by the store, they were there working for tips . . . I got very comfortable tipping those individuals along with “muchas gracias por usted ayuda conmigo.” ( and if necessary I had change made to 50 or 100 mxn peso ‘billetes OR billetes de 50 o 100 pesos’ just to have a reasonable propina to hand them with eye contact. and I also give a propina to the “bag check” folks, having left my mochila y sombrero while I take my time walking up and down the aisles – kitty litter, cereal, dried cat food, crema, shampoo & conditioner, toothpaste, dried soup mixes, spices, and corn oil for my cooking ( not a fan of aceite de canola ) heck all those items . . .
You mention as a deciding factor if I tip more than what “Mexicans “ will think is correct -I’m a fool or some other thing that justifies their lack of compassion & empathy. My family are all college educated and successful professionals for many generations. Yet most of us worked service jobs in HS & college. Or if not waiters, some other form of manual work. This “real-life “ work experience was mandatory. Not because our parents couldn’t afford to pay our expenses/ but because our parents knew the educational opportunities we were given would easily let us rise above these hard & essentia jobs.
It was very important that we understand how lucky we were to have opportunities &
Appreciate how hard people in service work. How rude some people are. The sexual harassment that was. Rampant. Little people who got a chance to be on top. And many kind people too. I don’t think there is such a thing as “over-tipping “
I think that tipping generously is a tiny bit of help for people who live very close to the edge. Many are single moms- sole support of several children. A Mexican woman once asked me what I paid my housekeeper? When I answered- she said / you must lower her wage — I won’t be able to afford a maid. I said “ I pay her based on skill & what it is worth to me. — A maid is a luxury – not a necessity. If I was driving up the price of carrots 🥕 I would listen. I grew up in the segregated south and then white middle class women “fixed” the weekly salary for their black domestic workers. I overheard some other mothers talking about this and asked my mom “Do you pay” regulation !
Angered she said “I pay a fair wage & other people’s cheapness is not my business “
I feel same about tipping – especially the sackers -bent backs , arthritic hands , careful packing ? If you don’t appreciate that – go to the States & pack your own – & haul it to car & pump your own gas & on & on. Although I was privileged and only worked service for a few years – but a medical problem, disastrous marriage – any bad break – and it could have been for life – and now at 76 I could be packing groceries. I think these stingy people think they are better than those that serve them – and never know how hard the work is and how easily it could be their fate.
Carol, I appreciate your comments. We are of the same generation and we had parents who expected us to work even though it was not a financial necessity. We grew up with a respect of those who labored and those who served and never did we consider ourselves superior. My parents also taught me to tip well. People in the service industry in Mexico depend on tips to supplement their income and leaving a good tip is a very small sacrifice to support hard workers.
I’ve had this experience. I tried to leave a tip on my hotel bed for the housekeeper, but it was still there after the room was serviced. So the next morning I left a note in Spanish that the money was for the service “para servicios de limpieza”. They understood and took the gratuity. Sometimes you just have to make your intentions clear.
Your comments about the elites of Mexico remind me of the article in MND about “Whitexicans”. I am embarassed by their behavior too.
This is not just a Mexican phenomenon. I recall when a friend worked waiting at Farmington Country Club outside Charlottesville, VA, where membership is by invitation only with a massive initiation fee and annual dues large enough to keep those less than truly wealthy at bay. She was routinely left tips by members of a quarter or fifty cents on twenty or thirty dollar meals (back in the 80s). Disgusting.
Most of the comments above are kind hearted and very thoughtful. My question is this. When does tipping let the employer off the hook of paying a fair and living wage to their employees and the same for the sackers? I always tend to over tip according to my friends and has become a habit which I am trying to break but I always wonder why I am paying what the employer should be paying their help. At least to some degree.
One difference I WILL say between tipping here and in the US is that at least waiters in Mexico don’t get a lower wage BECAUSE they are waiters as they do up north.
Any situations in which employers are counting on their customers to pay their workers what they should be paying for them is very frustrating…and the fact that baggers don’t get paid by the store they’re working in is a scandal.
I read an article a couple of weeks ago about how crazy tipping culture has become in the US (I’ve noticed it on trips back over the past few years), and in that case I think it’s 100% a case of employers realizing they can save money by pressuring customers to supplement their workers’ wages.
I have residency in Mexico and as a resident we get discounts at restaurants. Usually at 15%. I tip more because of the discount. I just give the discount to our mesero. Our regular meseros get tipped well. At least 20% because they give us over the top service. They are not at all resentful but very appreciative
Gentrification of neighborhoods, gentrification of cities. People pushed out of their houses by wealthier Americans, Canadians, or any other nationality.
The same thing happens in restaurants. It’s common that Mexicans and people from other nations in popular tourist areas complain that they will not even be allowed into the restaurant (it does happen) because they are not a wealthy tourist that tips at levels higher than Mexicans or whatever other nationality.
This is a very long read (and is in Spanish), but just such a good, good ground-level analysis of the effects of foreign populations moving in — in this case, in Oaxaca: https://gatopardo.com/revista/edicion-229/gentrificacion-en-oaxaca-y-descontento-social/
Mostly Mexican where I am in Yucatan
Tipping is mostly out of control especially in the u.s. where it’s on the cc machine starting at 15%, that’s even at Starbucks. Traveling in Italy tipping isn’t even a subject, ask any Italian and they’ll tell you no tips.
We do usually leave between 15 and 20 percent here in Mexico but honestly depends on the service and quality as it should be.
20-30 pesos on practically every Uber ride. The Ubers are so cheap here; being taken safely with A/C is worth more to me than the 29-99 peso charge. From the grocery store, they exit, help put the bags in the back and carry them to my door. In restaurants: the lower the cost the higher the percentage of tip. 50 peso tacos & soda deserves a 20 peso tip. A meal for 500 pesos: 80-100 peso tip. Generally, the service is about the same: a few minutes to deliver the food.
At one time, I understand that where tipping was concerned, Mexico was the same as much of Europe and the U.K. Tipping was neither expected nor necessary. The price of the meal amply covered the restaurant’s wages paid to its waitstaff and other employees.
Instead, a TIP was a token of gratitude for great, exceptional service and stood for something like To Insure Service. The patron would then leave a few coins from the change on the table at a gesture of appreciation.
Anyway, Gringos and other North Americans kinda changed that when overseas travel tourism became increasingly popular. And we left our customary TIPs.
Over time, restaurant providers caught on and adjusted their wage policy and structure. Including in Mexico. Why over pay the waitstaff, anyway?
In San Miguel, the local weekly newspaper did a survey on tipping among local restaurants. The waitstaff and management said Expats and tourists from the United States and Canada were the best, Europeans were a way behind and Mexicans/Hispanics were dead last. Many locals haven’t seemed to catch on.
This survey was over. 10 years ago, so everything changes. But at many restaurants here, the English language menu still has printed at the bottom of each page “Propina Not Included”. I think the menus in Spanish do, too.
The above include so many thoughtful responses, especially from Chiapas Travafeler and Sharon Brooks. It’s hard in many cases, eg, my maid is paid by the Hotel who owns my apartment. She is paid above minimum wage, and full benefits as regard Seguridad social, overtime, vacation, etc With what I tip her, she is well paid.
I do want to speak to a standard, and it is not what is tipping in the USA , but rather Europe. I am a multiple restaurant owner. The standard should be a living wage and benefits as can be afforded. Off course if the benefits are mandated by law( and enforced ), all ones competition also have to pay Just wages and benefits. That makes it easier to be a just employer. It is not easy to make money or survive in the restaurant industry.
I was profoundly dumbfounded when I found out so many big box stores do not pay ” baggers” . Shame on those employers and the Mexican government! A denunica is far more appropriate than tipping for illegal behavior on the part of the employers, and sometimes some very rich employers.
Going beyond and do special tasks deserve tips, not regular employment. Best said, “A fair day’s wages for a fair day’s work.”, an old socialist standard in the 1930’s USA
So disappointing. Just another example of attempting to look at a complex issue but limiting it to the cultural and emotional lens of foreigners. And comparing tipping attitudes, culture, and behavior to elite Mexicans is a flawed point of reference from the outset. In addition, references to tourist locations which are, by design, catering to exactly the sort of tipping behavior they believe is comfortable and expected by the tourists just adds to the layer of flawed reference on a much larger topic. So much rationalizing and justification to make yourself feel better because of your particular behavior surrounding tipping has nothing to do with the actual tipping culture or even attempting to adapt or understand it. I’ve lived in Mexico since 2009 and this is why all of my friends are Mexicans. I just can’t with the foreigner attitudes. MND needs to decide what their desired outcome is – Spend more time placating their large, foreign-reader base so they all feel better about themselves and can justify the way they live and behave in Mexico, or bring in writers and coverage that might make them uncomfortable but will also inform and challenge them to think about they way they view things in Mexico. ¡Saludos desde la perla tapatía!
Enlighten us, GDL. What’s your take on tipping culture in Mexico, then? How do you personally tip (or not)? What have been your observations of how your Mexican friends tip?
I’ve lived in Mexico since 2002, so you can imagine I’ve gone to A LOT of restaurants, mostly with Mexicans, and these are my observations. To be fair, I have been to very few restaurants in tourist destinations, so am less familiar with tourists’ (Mexican and foreign) tipping behavior in those places. Your comment about how tipping behavior is expected to be different in those places did give me pause — that was a good point.
I’m actually sitting in the restaurant my partner works at as I type this in a tourist-ish destination (mostly among Mexicans) in Veracruz. Most of its clients are Mexican tourists, and they routinely leave 10%, less, or nothing, which is then distributed equally among the workers of the day’s shift. What’s your experience over in Tapatío-land?
Some good comments here. Tipping in Europe is typically lower or small amounts as an appreciation for good or excellent service. This because waiters salaries should be sufficient to provide them a living.
Additionally small businesses typically realise that to have motivated and loyal staff, they need to pay fair wages.
It’s usually the big American chain stores that exploit workers with low or nonexistent salaries (e.g.baggers at supermarkets). And this not just in Mexico, but also in the US. I recently read that Walmarts pays such low US salaries that their service staff need food stamps to survive. This so they can maximise profits and shareholder dividends – while leaving the government and the taxpayers to fund food stamps!!
When in Mexico, I noticed there is a lot of disrespect and arrogance from upper or middle class customers in stores and restaurants. For me, treating service staff with courtesy and respect is the normal way to behave – and that includes fair tipping of 10-20%.
If you are not willing to do so, stay at home for your meals or bag and carry your own groceries!