All stories in El Jalapeño are satire and not real news. Check out the original article here.

Precisely one minute and 17 seconds after calling Claudia Sheinbaum “a wonderful and highly intelligent leader,” Donald Trump returned to Truth Social to say pretty much the exact opposite in an about-face that surprised absolutely no one.

In a late-night post, Trump also said he would impose tariffs on all machinery made in Mexico as well as Mexican hard taco shells unless “WE make a TREMENDOUS DEAL!”

His rationale for the duties was Mexico’s overuse of the word “sovereignty,” which Trump said is his least favorite word in the dictionary.

Under intense pressure from Mexico’s sole hard taco manufacturer — which said there is no domestic demand for their product — Sheinbaum scrambled to speak to Trump and finally succeeded in getting the U.S. president on the line.

She succeeded in staving off the tariff threat by pledging to limit her use of the word “sovereignty” to 10 times per mañanera, promising to deploy an additional 10,000 troops to the northern border area and assuring the president that at least 10 million “baby Trump dolls” will be inserted into Rosca de Reyes ahead of Three Kings Day 2027.    

“Just spoke to Mexico’s marvelous and very smart leader,” Trump wrote on Truth Social.

“She kindly compared me to Jesus and WE agreed to delay the planned tariffs until such time as Taco Bell invests BILLIONS OF DOLLARS in its own hard shell taco plants in the USA!”

Check out our Jalapeño archive here.

Got an idea for a Jalapeño article? Email us with your suggestions!