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El Jalapeño is a satirical news publication intended for entertainment purposes only. While our headlines may be inspired by real news events, all articles, quotes, statistics, and content are entirely fictional and created for comedic effect.

Nothing published by El Jalapeño should be construed as factual reporting.

¡Picante pero no real!

A woman with an IV of coca cola

El Jalapeño: Coca Cola celebrates 100 years in Mexico by aiming...

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It's a different sort of coke cartel, ok? Here's some more news that definitely didn't happen this week.
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El Jalapeño: Trump suggests ‘El Mencho’ would be ‘tremendous’ leader for...

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“I could stand in the middle of Tehran and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” - Donald Trump (maybe)
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El Jalapeño: Turning Point USA announces ‘All-American World Cup’ after determining...

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Finally, the USMNT might win something! Turning Point USA are putting the Mickey Mouse in "Mickey Mouse cup" in this week's Jalapeño.
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El Jalapeno

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VIDEO OF THE WEEK

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

El Jalapeño: American journalists covering Mexico’s ‘descent Into chaos’ from resort swim-up bar

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Everything looks like cartel violence from the hotel bar, right? Even El Jalapeño knows better than that.

El Jalapeño: President Sheinbaum unveils ‘Big Mac de Bienestar’ as latest social welfare initiative

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Reports that the chain would rebrand as "Mexdonalds" could not be confirmed.

El Jalapeño: Kid Rock to headline World Cup opening ceremony in Mexico City

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Go woke, go to... Mexico City for the FIFA World Cup? Our satirical news roundup is back for a spicy bite of comedy.

El Jalapeño: President Claudia Sheinbaum next in line to fight Jake Paul

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Realizing he's better off back fighting people who aren't actual boxers, Jake Paul sets his sights on a political "heavyweight" instead.

El Jalapeño: Bypassing Trump, Canada set to extend Gordie Howe bridge to Mexico

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A bridge too far? Ban this, Don. Check out some more news that didn't happen in our latest satirical look at the news.

El Jalapeño: San Miguel homeowners lament gentrification after struggling on ‘only’ seven-figure housing budgets

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When a million isn't enough, times are hard. Check out our satirical report of the week!

El Jalapeño: Trump accuses Mexico of ‘weaponizing sovereignty’ threatens tariffs on hard taco shells until further notice

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In news that didn't happen: Trump threatens Mexico over having too many ideas about independence.

El Jalapeño: Monitoring Greenland events, Mexico offers to buy back Texas

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"All I want is a piece of desert," said President Sheinbaum. Except of course, she didn't — it's our satirical story of the week.

El Jalapeño: 1 in 5 tacos sold in Mexico now made in China

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In news that would shock the nation if it was real, 20% of Mexico tacos are now imported from China. At least they're priced competitively.

El Jalapeño: Sheinbaum to replace Maya Train with world’s longest cable car

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From Mixcoac to Mérida: Has the Mexican government finally gone mad? Here's more news that didn't happen with El Jalapeño.

El Jalapeño: Mexico City’s AIFA airport hits 7 passengers in 2025, targets 9 in 2026

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AIFA is busy than ever, if you count the tumbleweeds (and that one stray dog in the arrivals hall). At least, that's what our satirical fake news service says this week.

El Jalapeño: Jalisco police boldly assume criminals will surrender after seeing Cybertrucks, remain unsure about actual functionality

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It's what Robocop would have driven. Probably.

El Jalapeño: Viva-Volaris merger promises to set new standards in passenger discomfort

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It's true, Viva Aerobus and Volaris are set to merge. What might be not true is the new depths that they promise to plumb together.
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